Reflecting on Memorial Day 2024

A Time for Pause and Perspective

Today is Memorial Day 2024, a day dedicated to remembrance. Memorials, whether personal or historical, serve as powerful symbols that anchor us to our past.

These symbols are often physical objects—a flag, a stone monument, a cross, or a star—that compel us to pause, even for a brief moment, to reflect. They interrupt our daily thoughts, urging us to remember and honor what came before.

Sometimes, a memorial is a day itself, like Memorial Day. It's a break from our routine, a chance to engage in activities that honor the past and reflect on its significance.

The Importance of Reflection

Memorials pull us out of our routines, inviting us to reflect. If we merely continue with our usual activities, the memorial loses its impact. Today, let's take a moment to slow down and think. Consider a memory, perhaps an interaction with someone, and reflect on its goodness or how it could have been better.

This is the real challenge of memorials, especially in the United States on Memorial Day: Are we willing to stop and examine ourselves—our actions as individuals and as a nation? It's easy to notice how others impact us, but it's harder to see our own influence on those around us. Yet this self-examination is the true purpose of memorials.

Critical Thinking and Empathy

We need to pause and think critically. This means challenging our own viewpoints and maintaining our ability to empathize with others. Let's strive to understand different perspectives, doing the work to see where someone else is coming from.

One of the United States' strengths is our freedom of speech. We're good at expressing our opinions, but we need to improve our listening skills. This Memorial Day, let's ask questions out of genuine curiosity about others' viewpoints instead of assuming those with opposing views are wrong. Understanding doesn't require agreement, but it does foster respect.

Memorials as Guideposts

Memorials guide our behavior, both personally and socially. They offer moments to step back and reflect on who we are and where we're headed. They help us remember the good and the bad, giving perspective to both.

This Memorial Day 2024, I hope you find the time to pause and reflect. If you encounter someone with an opposing view, be curious about their perspective instead of defensively asserting your own. Listening and curiosity can lead to deeper understanding without the need to share your viewpoint immediately.

A Call for Kindness and Understanding

Let's demonstrate the ability to understand another's perspective before rushing to conflict. This Memorial Day, let's cultivate kindness, compassion, and understanding in our interactions.

Have a safe and thoughtful Memorial Day 2024, from Livingston Consulting Group.

Unlocking Leadership Excellence: 7 Essential Questions Every Leader Should Reflect On

In the fast-paced world of leadership, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and forget the importance of stepping back to reflect. Yet, purposeful reflection is not just a luxury for leaders; it's a necessity. It's what separates good leaders from truly exceptional ones.

As a leadership coach, I often ask my clients a simple yet profound question: How good are you at spending time in purposeful reflection? The reason for this inquiry is clear: leaders are adept at reflecting on the work in front of them but often neglect critical reflection on the processes that drive that work forward.

Consider this scenario: a leader meticulously reviews the talent in their organization but fails to reflect on their own biases or the overall outcome of their efforts. This lack of introspection can have far-reaching consequences, not only for the leaders themselves but for the entire team.

So, what can leaders do to bridge this gap and cultivate a culture of reflection within their organizations?

It starts with asking the right questions.

Here are seven essential questions every leader should reflect on:

1. Confirmation Bias: Are you seeking out proof that confirms what you already believe, rather than challenging your assumptions?

2. Hindsight Bias: Are you relying on outdated information or past mistakes to inform your present decisions?

3. Gender Bias: Are you unconsciously discriminating against individuals based on gender stereotypes?

4. Anchoring Bias: Are you allowing past experiences to unfairly influence your perceptions of current situations?

5. Available Thought Bias: Are you falling into the trap of defending your ideas simply because they were the first to come to mind?

6. Role Modeling: Do you see yourself as a role model for your team, and are you setting a positive example for them to follow?

7. Work/Life Balance: Are you unintentionally sending mixed messages about work/life balance by your actions?

Reflecting on these questions isn't just about self-improvement; it's about fostering a more inclusive and effective leadership style. It's about recognizing our own biases and blind spots and taking proactive steps to address them.

As leaders, we owe it to ourselves and our teams to pause, reflect, and strive for excellence in everything we do. So, take some time today or this week to ponder these questions. Challenge yourself to dig deep, confront your biases, and emerge as a stronger, more self-aware leader.

Remember, leadership excellence isn't achieved overnight, but with dedication and reflection, it's well within reach!

Memorial Day 2023

Today is Memorial Day 2023. A memorial is an object which serves as a remembrance focusing us on something from our past, either personal or historical.

Oftentimes this object is physical, such as a flag, a piece of stone, or a shape like a cross or a star. The physical object serves as a trigger for us to stop, even if just for a moment, to remember. This object interrupts our thinking and causes us to momentarily think of something different.

Sometimes the object is a day. Like Memorial Day today, for instance. Where we pause from our regular flow of activity and do something different.

Memorials and reflections

Memorials take us out of our routine to reflect. If we just keep on doing what we have always done, then the memorial is not having much of an effect on us. Today, can we all slow down a bit and think? Maybe about something from our past. Maybe about an interaction we had with someone, how good it was. Or, if it was not so good, what could you have done differently to make it better?

I think this is the real challenge of memorials, exemplified in the United States as Memorial Day. Are we willing to stop and really examine ourselves and how we are behaving as a nation and as people? It is easy to see how others are impacting us. It is much harder to see the impact we are having on those around us. Yet this is the real purpose of memorials.

pause and reflection

We need to stop and think critically. What I mean by this is having the ability to challenge our own points of view. We don’t want to lose the ability to empathize with others to the point that we don’t care at all to see things from their point of view. Let’s do the work to understand where someone else might be coming from.

One of the things that really makes the United States stand out in our world is our ability to speak freely. I actually think as a country we are pretty good at this. What we need to work on is listening. Let’s stop and ask some curious questions about others about why they think what they think rather than assuming if they have an opposite view from you that they are wrong. At the end of the day, no one says you have to agree, but at least you will have a better understanding of where they are coming from.

Memorials serve as guideposts for behaviors, personally and for society. These objects really are a time for us to step back and reflect on who we are and where we are headed. They give us an opportunity to remember all the good and the bad and to put perspective on each of these.

My hope for you this Memorial Day 2023 is that you have the ability to pause and reflect. In this reflection, if someone has an opposing view to yours, I hope you will spend the time to be curious about where they are coming from, rather than having that knee-jerk reaction to defend your position. Perhaps the real work here is to just listen and be curious with them without having to even share your point of view. Let's all work this Memorial Day and every day forward on our listening skills, rather than just sharing our opinions.

May we demonstrate the ability to understand the other person's perspective before we automatically go to war with them over something? Let us try and find some kindness, compassion, and understanding in our approach to our fellow man this Memorial Day.

Have a safe and Happy Memorial Day 2023, from Livingston Consulting Group.

5 Questions Every Leader Needs to Ask Themselves and Reflect On

How good are you at spending time in purposeful reflection?

This is a question I ask a lot of the leaders that I coach. The reason I ask about purposeful reflection is that I think leaders are fairly good at reflecting because they are constantly seeing things differently in their own heads than maybe their employees.

For example, I had a client who was working on a review of the talent in her organization. She spent a lot of time reflecting on the individuals that she was representing. However, she spent almost no time intentionally reflecting on her own overall outcome or any of the biases that she might have experienced when going through the talent review process. 

I think it is fair to say that many of us are good at reflecting on the work in front of us, but maybe not so good at critical reflection on the processes we went through to make the work happen. There are not many of us who spend time on this. And I get it. 

Those of us in leadership development have spent way too much time working with leaders on obtaining good outcomes and not nearly enough time helping other people think about their processes.  We have encouraged you to go from “good to great,” to be “innovative,” and to “work from your strengths.” But what we haven’t given you are tools to purposefully reflect on how you are showing up as a leader.

A leadership guru, Gary Yulk, wrote that “to facilitate favorable learning environments in organizations, leaders must act as a role model”.

Have you thought much about that? Do you see yourself as a role model?  What does that even mean for you and how you are impacting those on your team? Are you one who encourages your team to have a good work/life balance but sends emails at 5 pm on Saturday evenings and 9 am on Sunday mornings?  

Role models set the tone and the pace for those they work with.

Some of you might be saying, “Well I want the people on my team to work hard. I need to make sure they are always really engaged.”

Dan Goleman, in his book Primal Leadership, calls out this “pacesetting” style as dissonant. The problem, according to Goldman, is that you will likely burn out people on your team if you push them to work too hard.  If you don’t burn them out, you will run them down so much that they will lose energy to be able to give you any kind of extra effort when it is needed. 

Here are those five other bias questions that leaders can be influenced by and some additional questions that you can spend some intentional time reflecting on:

1. Confirmation Bias? Seeking out proof that will confirm what you already think or believe.  Are you working on a project or with a team and unduly influencing them to show you something that you already believe is true? What do you need to do to eliminate this bias from a project you are currently working on?

2. Hindsight Bias? The belief that the past was more accurate and predictable than it really was. How old is the data you are using to form your opinions of people on your team? I have a client who made a mistake several years ago. Although he has had many successes since then, he is still in a “penalty box” for that error. Are there people in your organization you need to forgive because you are putting too much emphasis on errors that may have happened a long time ago?

3. Gender Bias? A widely held set of implicit biases that discriminate against gender. Let's say a female in your organization gets really intense in a meeting. You think about the situation and come to a private conclusion that “when under pressure, women get emotional.” Anytime we use all-inclusive language about an individual we are showing a bias. Step back and think about what happened to her at that moment and consider maybe why she got emotional. Then apply the same standard to one of the guys on your team. If he gets emotional, does he get credit because he is passionate? How might you take gender bias out of your thinking as you work with talent on your team?

4. Anchoring Bias? Relying heavily on an initial piece of information or a data point that unduly influences your decisions and thought processes. “Do you remember that guy we hired from a competitor 5 years ago? He was a total washout.” Do you use comments like this that influence your thoughts and feelings today? Does this one situation anchor all of your thoughts on hiring competitors? How could you look at each individual without labels and find the good in what they are bringing to the table no matter what their work history might be?

5. Available Thought Bias? Your decision is influenced by what springs first into your mind. I witness this a lot in leaders. They tend to fall in love with the first thing that comes out of their mouths. This comes from pride and the feeling that we need to defend an idea just because we said it. This one happened to me one day in a meeting. I was asked my opinion and gave it, but then felt like if I didn’t defend it I would be seen as not having a take on the topic. So I ended up defending something I was not even really that passionate about.  How might you overcome pride, admit you were wrong, and agree with someone who had a better idea than you?

take some time today or this week to pause and reflect on how these biases might be affecting your leadership.

As you reflect, I encourage you to forgive yourself. We all have biases - we can’t help it. Our brains are association-making machines. They fill in blanks to make reality from things that may or may not be there. Realizing we all have biases is the first step to better team outcomes. 

President's Day 2023

Happy President’s Day 2023. I think that every day we have a choice as to how we are going to show up. Today is one of them.

Leader Challenge

Leaders, I know you have opinions and I know you have problems to solve and decisions to make. 

People are not always doing things exactly as you think they need to be done. I know you would never say that you are the center of the universe, but sometimes, as leaders, we think we are.  We make it all about our vision, our agenda, our goals, our, our, our.

Maybe this week as leaders we spend less time on our own personal agendas and we become more appreciative of those who are on our teams and really make things happen for us in our organizations. Just like presidents are committed to doing for our country.

How about this President’s Day, choose to be thankful for the many great things you have in your life.

Be thankful:

• That you may not have to be at work today! You get a day off.

• If you have a job that doesn’t observe the holiday, you are lucky to work and have a job today!

• That you hopefully have family and friends and coworkers in your life that you care about.

• That we get to observe this day to celebrate the birthdays and lives of all of our United States presidents.

Just watch yourself today. Practice some self-awareness, and if you find yourself starting to complain about a subject, try to show some impulse control and turn it into gratitude.

Now, I never want to come off too heavy or seem like I am preaching. That really is never my intention. So, after you have really thought about being thankful for all that you have, then by all means do something frivolous. Go to dinner with your family, go play 18 holes, take your kids or grandkids to the park, and just enjoy the break. Work will always be here tomorrow.

If You Could Have One Thing…

As we begin a new year I have been thinking about something. More specifically, I have been asking myself a question that is not an easy one to answer.

Here is the question:

“If I could have one thing now that I either don’t currently possess or that I do possess but would like to have more of, what would it be?”

I know some of you are saying right now, “Scott, you really need to spend your time thinking about deeper things.”

I agree.

And after you judge me for thinking this, you will likely sit back and think to yourself, “What do I want more of”? 

Here are some things I consider as I ponder the question myself:

1. More clients to grow my business

2. More money to buy and do more things

3. More peace so my stress level would be lower

4. More impulse control so I won’t crave Chex Mix at 9 pm

5. More time to do what I love when I want to do it - like play more golf

A Little Irony

Most of you who know me know that I am a fairly spiritual person. I often start my day around 7 am with some reflection time that includes a few things: 

• A 21-day prayer journal that our church is working through.

• A Daily Meditation by Richard Rohr called “Yes, And…”.

• Reading some scriptures from my Leadership Bible and writing a reflection in my journal on what I am learning.

Interestingly enough, as I have this question rolling around in my head, “what do I want / more of,” I sat down one morning this week to the following:

• The prayer journal lesson was about the places Jesus went in his few short ministry years. There was a collision between the realities of his heavenly kingdom and the brokenness of our fallen world.

• Rohr wrote, “It’s all about seeing…moving from dualistic to non-dualistic thinking at the highest levels.”

• My scripture reading was from 1 Kings - the place where God appeared to King Solomon and said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”

• My journaling brought these three big ideas together: a) the brokenness of the world, b) being open and patient with ambiguity, and c) that God asked Solomon the same thing I was asking myself.

Pretty interesting, right? I have this question rolling around in my head, then wake up and my reading for the day is God asking King Solomon the very same question.

Now I am feeling better about my question not being silly or trite. I mean… if God asked it of Solomon it has to be a good question…right?

What Would Solomon Do?

As I continued in my journaling reflection, I began to notice that all three of these topics have something in common. 

To answer any of them, brings in the unknown.

• What to do about the brokenness of our world?

• How to be open and patient with that which is ambiguous in my life?

• If I could ask God for one thing, what should it be?

This realm of the unknown to me is like a big dark cave. It brings feelings of both anxiety and fear. I just really don’t like not knowing. I would much rather be in control and know. Give me certainty all day long over the unknown.

I guess this is what impresses me the most with this part of the story about King Solomon. He could have been selfish and asked for his kingdom to grow, he could have asked for money to buy more stuff for the palace. He could have even asked for impulse control so his tummy doesn’t hurt at night after he eats his favorite snack. Shoot, he doesn’t even ask to live a long life free of problems.

Think about this with me for a minute. 

God shows up to Solomon in a dream and says “Ask me for anything and I will give it to you.” Solomon, now in the driver's seat to be granted anything he wants….

Can you feel the drama building…. ?

He asks for wisdom.

Wisdom to be able to make good decisions and distinguish between right and wrong on behalf of his kingdom. 

What an interesting request!

Wisdom. This pinnacle of human development. 

Next week I will begin to unpack this idea of wisdom and leadership a bit more. I don’t think anyone would argue that in our world today, wisdom is something that is needed by leaders everywhere. 

Perhaps this is a good question for all of us to ponder, after all.

If God showed up to you in a dream and told you to ask Him for anything, what would it be for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

3 Minute Read to Improve Your Leadership Resolution for 2018

Happy New Year! I know many of you are still on vacation so I promise to keep this one short and to the point. 

Many of us begin thinking today what we will resolve to do (or not do) in 2018.  

A resolution, in fact, is just this, "a firm decision to do or not do something."

Like you, In the past I have made many types of New Years Resolutions:

• Personal: Eat right, exercise more and lose 10 pounds.

• Professional: Increase sales by 20% by becoming more customer-centric.

• Family: Become a better listener when talking with my wife.

• Spiritual: Read through the Bible in a year.

All good stuff. I am sure many of you are making resolutions and talking with your friends and family about them even today.

I thought I might challenge you to add a category this year. In addition to your personal, professional, family, and spiritual resolutions to think about a resolution to improve your leadership.

Leadership

Here are 10 Ideas to help you start to think about what you could resolve to change in 2018 when it comes to your leadership. I pulled this list from some of our more popular blog posts this year and have included a link to some of them just in case you want to read more on a few of these subjects.

1. Reflect on Being a Great Leader and what is keeping you from being great. Who among us doesn’t want to be seen as a great leader? And yet so many of us have some barrier that we just don’t want to see or do anything about. (Do You Make These Leadership Mistakes)

2. Work on your values before your vision. Define what is important to you as you begin to sculpt your vision for yourself and your followers.

3. Spend less time working and more time thinking. This idea runs counter-culture to our “doing” mentality. Perhaps you need to work less and think more to enhance your ability to lead. (Solve This Riddle and Challenge Your Leadership Perspective.)

4. If you were a brand (like Kleenex or Toyota,) what would your value proposition be?

5. Who in your organization do you need to network with? (Who Else Wants to Develop as a Leader?)

6. What piece of FeedForward advice do you need to seek out? In our organizations, we are so good at feedback. We just love telling people what we observed them doing. Why not start a culture of FeedForward? Perhaps we could all get a little better at offering some solutions in addition to what we see in others that we don’t like. (What advice would you give this first time leader)

7. What cycle of negative thinking will you break this year?

8. How are you resting in the middle of your workday? Studies are showing how important rest is for leaders to maintain their effectiveness. How are you cycling your work to maximize your performance?

9. Take your emotional intelligence temperature. Are you able to choose how you react or are you “slave” to your knee-jerk reactions?

10. Whatever change you make, put a plan in place to sustain it.

I am looking forward to being with you on your leadership journey. If there are subjects you would like tackled on these pages just drop me a line. I am happy to do the research and then write about what interests you.

My prayer for you is that you have a productive and effective year as a leader.

Blessings to you and your families.

PS: If you know someone who might be interested in growing as a leader in 2018, why not forward them this blog and have them sign up? It's free and easy, and we guarantee they will get tons of value.

An Open Letter to my Friend at the Fairfield Inn, Clarksville Tennessee

So, I am sitting eating breakfast this morning at a Fairfield Inn in Clarksville Tennessee with my lovely wife Kim. I am having my usual powdered eggs and overcooked bacon and Kim has chosen her much healthier granola and Chobani Greek Yogurt. The place is packed with people who have that look of road exhaustion even though they just woke up.

The tables are so close together in this dining space that sardines would have been envious. Kim and I can’t carry on a conversation because of all the chatter around us. So as we sit and try to enjoy the meal that comes with the price of our room, we also become observant of the conversations around us.  Not evesdropping you understand, just unable to avoid the sound waves bouncing around the room.

The first conversation is coming from a couple who seems to be traveling with the man's mother. The guy is a know-it-all. I mean, you know the type: has an uninformed opinion about everything. Mind you, we only sat at our table for about ten minutes, but this guy has commented on everything, including how bad a president Donald Trump has been versus the eight great years under "Barack." He actually just used the former President's first name. My first thought was how disrespectful we have become as Americans. How have our freedoms have been taken so for granted that respect is something only recognized when Aretha Franklin is singing?

Mr. Know-it-all then goes on to solve the healthcare crisis by telling his mom, “I know exactly what we should do. We need to tax the rich and take away…. Hold on, Hold on," he says, "I have a call coming in." He presses a button on his smart watch and tells the person on the other end of the line they are at breakfast, then turns to his mom and starts telling her why his Google watch is better than her Apple watch when it comes to the phone app.

I was actually beaming a bit nauseous just listening to this guy when I heard a little chirp from the table behind us.  A young family sat down and the mom was busy pouring milk over Cheerios when her little girl says, “Thank you, Mommy." I mean, my heart just melted like butter in a microwave. 

Then it hit me. Each of these two scenarios had main characters. Each of the main characters had a choice as to how they are going to show up for breakfast. The little girl sure could have told her mom that the kind of milk she had wasn’t right or that she didn’t need anyone to pour her milk for her. There were probably dozens of responses the little girl could have made, but she chose to be thankful.

To my know-it-all friend I just have to say: I don’t think that many people at the Fairfield Inn in Clarksville Tennessee care about your opinion. Even if you are 100% right about whatever it is you are pontificating on, your opinion just doesn’t matter that much.  

Perhaps being a little bit more like the Cheerios girl would make this world more like the place we all really want it to be.

Leader Challenge

Leaders, I know you have opinions and I know you have problems to solve and decisions to make. 

People are not doing things exactly as you think they need to be done. I know you would never say that you are the center of the universe, but sometimes, as leaders, we don’t we act like it.  It is all about our vision, our agenda, our goals, our, our, our.

Maybe this week as leaders we spend less time on our own personal agenda and we become more appreciative of those who are on our teams and really make things happen for us in our organizations.

How about this Memorial Day Weekend, instead of complaining that the Affordable Care Act isn’t that affordable for people anymore, or that your Facebook news feed just isn’t loading fast enough, just be thankful.

Be thankful that:

• You don’t have to work on Monday
• You have a job and get to work on Monday
• You have a family
• You have friends
• At some point in history a soldier cared enough to die for you so you could have a profile on Facebook.

Just watch yourself today. Practice some self-awareness, and if you find yourself starting to complain, or pontificate about a subject, show some impulse control and turn your self-aggrandizement into gratitude.

Perhaps we can all use the Memorial Day for its true purpose: to remember those who have died so that we can complain if we choose to. 

Now, I don’t want to come off too heavy or seem like I am preaching. That really isn’t my intention. So, after you have really thought about your choice, and being thankful for all you have, then by all means do something frivolous.  Have a BBQ with your family, go play 18 holes, take your kids or grand kids to the park, or join me in watching the Greatest Spectacle in Racing…."Gentlemen start your engines."