I vividly remember the day I set out on a road trip as an 18-year-old, driving from Peoria, Illinois, to Des Moines, Iowa, where I was a student at Drake University. It was my second year in Pharmacy school, and I decided to take a scenic route through small towns instead of the faster interstate. I wanted to enjoy the drive, maybe even savor a bit of the freedom of being on my own.
But about 60 miles in, something unexpected happened. My beloved '66 Chevy Belair, affectionately known as "Old Blue," started slowing down. It wouldn’t go faster than 35 miles per hour. The speed limit back then was 55, and cars were speeding by me. Embarrassment set in.
You see, in those younger years, driving fast wasn’t just a habit; it was almost a rite of passage. I even had a personal motto: “Nobody passes Old Blue.”
Now, here I was, barely moving, and what I felt wasn’t just embarrassment anymore—it was fear. That kind of fear that takes over your thoughts.
What was wrong with the car?
More importantly, what had I done to it?
My mind raced with possibilities, something many of us experience in difficult situations. This mental process is known as awfulizing.
Awfulizing is when we catastrophize a situation, imagining the worst possible outcomes without any real evidence. In my case, I immediately thought of everything that could go wrong:
Did I forget to change the oil?
Had I blown the engine?
Did I put the wrong gas in?
But there was a bigger fear under all of that: How was I going to explain this to my dad?
I wasn’t just dealing with a mechanical problem; I was wrestling with the weight of responsibility and the looming sense of having let someone down.
Awfulizing: Meaning and Impact
Awfulizing, simply put, is the habit of expecting the worst. It’s a mindset where we let our fears and anxieties spiral, imagining every potential disaster. It’s not just about feeling worried—it’s about mentally jumping to the most negative outcomes, even when the evidence doesn’t support them.
As leaders, this kind of thinking can paralyze us.
When a project goes off track, or when there’s uncertainty in the market, awfulizing can take over, leading to poor decision-making. The key is recognizing when we’re awfulizing and learning how to stop.
How to Stop Awfulizing: PausE to Reflect
Looking back, what I didn’t realize at the time was how much that experience mirrored challenges we face as leaders.
Awfulizing causes us to react impulsively, often in ways that aren’t helpful. When pressure mounts and things start to go wrong, our first instinct might be to react quickly, trying to fix the problem as soon as possible.
But the first step in learning how to stop awfulizing is often the hardest: pausing.
In that moment, instead of letting worst-case scenarios run through my mind, I could have paused to assess the situation more calmly. Was the car really in such bad shape, or was my fear exaggerating the problem?
As leaders, when challenges arise, we must pause, reflect, and ask the right questions: What’s really happening here? What evidence do I have? And most importantly, am I awfulizing this situation?
How to Stop Awfulizing: See the Bigger Picture
On that day with Old Blue, I wasn’t just worried about fixing the car; I was grappling with a sense of responsibility that went beyond the mechanical issue. The car wasn’t just a mode of transportation—it was a connection to my family, specifically my grandfather, who had entrusted it to me. This added an emotional layer to the situation that made everything feel more intense, feeding my awfulizing.
As leaders, we often face challenges that are about more than just the task at hand. There are deeper layers—relationships, expectations, and personal stakes—that influence how we respond. Being able to see the bigger picture is crucial. When something goes wrong, it’s easy to focus on the immediate problem, but effective leadership requires us to recognize the emotional & relational dimensions at play.
When awfulizing takes hold, we narrow our focus to the worst outcomes. But by understanding the bigger picture, we can regain perspective & clarity.
How to Stop Awfulizing: Adapt When the Plan Changes
Once I realized Old Blue wasn’t going to fix itself, I had to adapt. I pulled over, checked what I could, and eventually made it back home safely, though not without a detour or two.
This ability to adapt—to change course when things don’t go as expected—is crucial in leadership.
Plans rarely unfold perfectly, and unexpected challenges are inevitable. Whether it’s a shifting market, a team dynamic that changes, or a project that hits an unforeseen snag, leaders must be able to pivot without losing focus.
The question isn’t whether you’ll encounter obstacles—it’s how you’ll respond when you do.
Are you flexible enough to adjust your approach while keeping your team and your goals in mind? More importantly, are you recognizing when awfulizing might be preventing you from seeing practical solutions?
How to Stop Awfulizing: Build Trust
While fear and anxiety were my initial responses to the situation, what ultimately got me through was trust—trust in myself to figure things out, and trust that I could find a way to make it work. When we’re caught in the cycle of awfulizing, it’s easy to lose trust in ourselves and in those around us.
Building trust—both in ourselves and in our teams—is essential, especially when things don’t go according to plan.
Trust comes from consistently showing up, being honest about the situation, and maintaining a sense of steadiness, even when you’re not sure what the outcome will be.
How are you showing your team that they can trust you, even when the road gets bumpy? And how are you building trust in yourself to stop awfulizing and find a constructive way forward?
BEYOND AWFULIZING: Leading with Purpose
Sometimes, no matter how much we plan, life has a way of slowing us down. And when it does, how we respond makes all the difference.
So, how will you navigate the next detour or unexpected roadblock? Will you rush to awfulize the situation, or will you take a moment to reflect, adapt, and lead with clarity and purpose?
Just as Old Blue taught me valuable lessons about adapting and overcoming fear, our leadership journeys offer countless opportunities to grow beyond awfulizing. The next time you face your own "Old Blue" moment, choose to lead with resilience and clarity instead of letting fear take the wheel.