Jim walked out of his manager Cindy’s office completely frustrated and dejected. He had worked so hard on the project he had been assigned, but by Cindy’s tone and body language, Jim could tell she was really not very pleased at all with his work. In his heart he didn’t think Cindy was a mean person, but her disapproval was evident. All he heard as he left her office was how complicated the project was and how there were gaps in what was delivered.
After Jim left her office, Cindy called her director, Allison. Cindy was so pleased with the work Jim did on the project that she thought he deserved one of the division's extra achievement awards. As Cindy explained to Alison, “The project was layered with such complexity, and the expectations were really high. What Jim was able to deliver was incredible. Sure, he did not achieve perfection in terms of hitting every single goal, but his hard work was appreciated, regardless of whether the outcome fell a bit short of expectations.”
After Jim left Cindy’s office, he called his wife, who was just getting off work and beginning her commute home. “I have had it!” he exclaimed. “I don’t know what I have to do to please Cindy. She is a direct communicator and doesn’t like a lot of small talk. She is no-nonsense and just wants to get the job done. I understand all that! Even though I am a bit more of an extrovert than she is, I have worked hard to understand her style. But, really, I don’t know what I have to do to please her. Nothing is ever enough.”
Now Jim’s wife could feel the rant coming, even over the phone. He continued, “You know I worked my tail off to get that project in on time. Even though the deliverables were unrealistic, I delivered on all the items. Sure, not everything was perfect, but you would at least think a simple acknowledgement of the effort could have been given. I think I am going to call Alex, my HR rep, and see if I can transfer out of the division. If not, well we might have to tap into some of our savings because I just can’t work where I am not appreciated. Life is too short….”
Meanwhile, Allison was on the phone agreeing with Cindy that giving Jim an extra achievement award was a great idea! As they hung up, Alison was perplexed. Just an hour prior she had received a call from Alex, the group's Human Resources support person, who had recommended Cindy might need a coach. Alex shared that Cindy’s team had been giving him some feedback that they just didn’t feel like Cindy recognized the work they were doing. As a result, the people on Cindy’s team did not feel valued or appreciated, and Alex was worried that some pretty talented people might be flight risks to a competitor.
As Cindy hung up the phone from talking with Allison, she quickly pulled up the HR website and nominated Jim for the extra achievement award. She then shot Alex, the HR rep, a quick note recapping her conversation with her director, Allison. Cindy shut down her computer and walked to her car feeling like a million bucks. She even reflected how she was putting into action what she had learned in her MBA classes. People leave managers, not companies. Her recognition efforts for people like Jim would surely create some emotional connections that could not only retain talent, but might even improve her team's performance.
TWO WEEKS LATER Cindy found herself in Alison’s office, along with Alex from HR, and Tara, an Executive Coach.
Last week, Jim posted for a job out of the division, the day after he received his recognition award from Cindy. Alex had recommended they bring Tara in to see if Cindy might be interested in exploring what was happening on her team.
After introducing Tara, they began the discussion. Cindy was her usual direct self in the meeting. “Do you really think a coach is the right thing? I feel like this is a bit of a knee jerk reaction to Jim posting for a transfer.”
“Of course this is completely your call, Cindy. Tara is a resource to develop as a leader. This is not a knee jerk reaction to what happened with Jim. However, I will say that overall your team's performance is not where it should be, and it has been this way for some time.” responded Alison.
Tara could feel the temperature in the room rising, so she piped in with a question. “Cindy, since I am brand new to this team, could you help me understand what has happened with Jim?”
Cindy recounted the details as she saw them:
Jim had been assigned a project with high expectations.
His delivery on the project was not perfect, but he worked hard and did well.
I nominated him for an achievement reward.
He thanked me by posting for a transfer out of the division.
Tara could feel the bitterness in Cindy’s tone, but thought perhaps she could get one more question in. Turning toward Cindy, she gently asked, “Did you thank Jim for the work?”
Cindy quickly quipped back, “I nominated him for the achievement award. What more would you suggest I do?”
“I understand,” Tara empathized. After pausing and patiently considering Cindy’s plight, she continued. “As I listened to your story, I couldn’t help but wonder - how do you differentiate appreciation for work and goal achievement?”
Cindy was not ready for that one.
“I’m sure I have thought about that,” Cindy replied. “Can you unpack that question for me?”
“I would love to” Tara said, “but I think it would be better if just the two of us continued the conversation. Why don’t we go grab coffee and continue our discussion? After we’ve spent a bit of time together, you can let Allison and Alex know if I am a good fit for you as a coach.”
What Tara Unpacked At Coffee
At coffee Tara unpacked for Cindy the difference between appreciation for the work, and the work result itself.
In my own coaching and consulting work, I have often found that how leaders appreciate people on the team and what the people actually need can be very different. Leaders will lump together the work process and the end result that is delivered.
I had a recent experience that really amplified this. The person was telling me they were experiencing some unwanted turnover on their team, even though the manager felt like she was connecting with people around the work they were doing.
We started to unpack this and discovered that she was not differentiating work process and work outcome.
When team members would deliver on projects, she would give an evaluation of the work, which was totally fair and a necessary part of her role. What was missing, however, was acknowledgement of all the work that went into the delivered product.
We discovered that a person on the team can work hard or not work hard. They also can hit the goal of the work product or not hit the goal.
What about you? Are you differentiating the level of the work process from goal attainment?
Please do not misunderstand, I am all about goals being hit in a quality way. What I am saying is that for those of you who are perfectionists, maybe you are missing an opportunity for people on your team to feel your gratitude for all their hard work. What is the harm in thanking people for what they do?
Appreciating the person and their efforts should be separate from their work product.
In the story above, had Cindy simply thanked Jim for his efforts and gotten his perspective on what still needed to be done to complete the project, would he have wanted to stay on her team?
There is a war on talent. Are you winning it with appreciation or losing it with evaluation?