How to Apply Emotional Intelligence to Your Development

On this Labor Day, I hope this note finds you well, safe, and thinking about finishing this year of 2021 well. 


As I was doing some research for an emotional intelligence leadership program recently, I came accross this graphic. I found it most interesting that emotional intelligence has become recognized as a top 10 skill needed in our workforce today!

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A couple of things stuck out to me: 

  1. Emotional intelligence took the place of either active listening or quality control.

  2. Emotional intelligence enhances all the other skills on the list.

Emotional Intelligence As A MetaSkill

I don’t think any of us would say that as leaders we need to stop focusing on active listening or lessen our focus on quality.  We should always want to encourage our teams to deliver quality results.

In addition, we need to always be practicing good Humble Inquiry and use our active listening skills. It is our responsibility as leaders to be present with those we work with and to connect to the emotion of what it is they are saying. This is compassionate empathy at its finest.

As I examine the two lists in the graphic, what becomes evident to me is that Emotional Intelligence is actually a MetaSkill.  It is a skill that enables the other skills to be used more effectively.

Take for example the first skill on the list, complex problem solving. What problem that is really complex is not fraught with emotion? People who solve problems have beliefs around the assumptions and the processes that are used to solve the issue at hand. If another person takes a slightly different view or has a different approach, frustration can easily infiltrate the process. Enter, emotional intelligence. 

Or, consider the skill of negotiation.

How many of you saw the word negotiation, and had a visceral reaction?

Enter emotional intelligence, to calm and steady your nerves so you can obtain an outcome you can live with.

Developing Emotional Intelligence

One of the best ways I know to develop the skill of emotional intelligence is to become more aware of the competencies required to support the skills that are necessary to be successful in today’s workforce.

Skills such as:

  • A manager who needs to have better relationships with people on your team.

  • A director who is frustrated because there is more work to do than people to do it.

  • An HR professional who is anxious because talent is leaving the organization in the great work realignment we are experiencing. 

  • A person who is new to your role and just needs more self-confidence day in & day out.

  • A physician working on your bedside manner.

  • An athlete who just can not break that next performance barrier.

  • A sales professional who is struggling to close sales in recent months.

  • A front line supervisor who struggles being empathic with workers who are just not as productive as they could be.

No matter your role, no matter your skill, emotional intelligence can enhance anything you are trying to do.

If awareness is indeed the best tool to develop the skill of emotional intelligence, how do we increase our awareness and growth? One of the best methods I recommend to all my clients is journaling. Simply writing about what you are experiencing will bring great awareness to the linking of emotional intelligence to your skill.

If you need help getting started, a resource that many of my clients have found helpful is a journaling book I wrote with my brother, Eric, earlier this year.  “A Guided Journey to Developing Emotional Intelligence.”

In this resource we will guide you to work on 15 competencies that support being emotionally intelligent. You will get some mini case studies to think through, then some questions for you to reflect and journal on. I hope it is helpful to you on your growth journey! 

Happy Labor Day, 

Scott