The Impact of Being Versus Doing: Shaping Organizational Culture

Years ago, I was part of a workplace that cherished the cultural norm of "respect for people." This principle manifested in various positive ways, from empathy during times of personal loss to comprehensive support for parental leaves. It even translated into a performance-based pay system within this respectful environment.

However, the introduction of a leader with an agenda to a specific department disrupted this culture. Changes in performance standards were implemented selectively, causing confusion and dissatisfaction among employees. High-performing individuals received unwarranted low ratings, leading to chaos, fragmentation, and a significant shift away from the once-stable cultural norms.

Within six months, the entire department suffered drastic consequences, resulting in the replacement of the leader. What was once a high-performing organization had been completely dismantled by the actions of a single person. The impact of leadership on team development and organizational culture cannot be underestimated. When team members feel unsafe or undervalued, motivation dwindles, potentially leading to the loss of valuable talent.

So, how can leaders foster a culture that ensures both new and existing team members feel secure and motivated? Perhaps it's not solely about actions, but rather about embodying certain qualities. Focus on nurturing Emotional Intelligence (EI). This endeavor can significantly influence the culture you wish to instill, transforming desired behaviors from occasional acts into inherent traits.

Here are five attributes to embody that can profoundly shape your organization's culture:

1. Be Self-Aware: Understand and confidently navigate your emotions and their impact on the company. Being aware of your emotional responses allows you to consciously choose your reactions.

2. Be Assertive: Communicate clearly and consistently about what needs to be done, how, and why, ensuring the team understands your directives.

3. Be Empathetic: Extend compassion and flexibility, even in challenging situations. Empathy fosters an environment of safety and value among team members.

4. Be in Control: Base decisions on the company's mission and principles rather than impulsive emotional reactions, fostering trust and confidence within the team.

5. Be Optimistic: Embrace positivity and cultivate a mindset that sees setbacks as learning opportunities, inspiring your team through your optimism.

Reflect on these qualities and complete the following statement:

“I want to be more... so that my team can feel... and we'll create a culture that is..."

Share your thoughts with a mentor or coach for guidance. If you need support, feel free to share in the comments or contact me directly for further discussion and assistance. Let's work together to shape a culture that thrives on these principles.

Transforming Work Relationships: The Power of Humble Inquiry

When a coaching client begins with, "I'm struggling with a person on my team, and our relationship isn't great. Can you give me some advice?" I know an interesting conversation is about to unfold. As a leadership coach, my approach focuses on delving deep into the individual's inner world to help them find the right responses and actions. Rather than serving as an oracle, I try to take on the role of an investigator, asking questions that will guide them toward their own self-discovery.

Unpacking the Complexity:

Conversations about work relationship challenges always lead me to a plethora of questions. Each question below aims to illuminate a different facet of the issue:

• Why is there a struggle?

  Understanding the root causes is always the first step toward resolving any difficulty.

• What about this person makes the situation challenging?

  Identifying specific issues can provide insights into potential solutions.

• Is this a recurring issue with others on the team?

  Exploring whether this is an isolated case or a pattern can be enlightening.

• How do you define a successful working relationship?

  Clarifying the desired outcome is crucial for setting the right goals.

• Do you have positive relationships with other team members?

  Contrasting problematic relationships with successful ones can reveal commonalities or differences between team members.

• Are there external factors affecting the relationship?

  Considering broader contexts can help uncover the bigger picture beyond individual dynamics.

  No matter which question I choose, the answers usually surprise me. For instance, in response to "Why is there a struggle?" I might hear, "This person reminds me of someone from my past who treated me horribly," or "They are a micromanager, so the further I stay away from them, the better."

The Hack: The Art of Humble Inquiry

To effectively coach in these situations, I follow Edgar Schein's concept of "Humble Inquiry." It's about asking questions without preconceived answers and with a genuine interest in the other person. This requires humbling myself, setting aside my needs, and focusing entirely on the person in front of me.

Humble Inquiry Questions

Humble Inquiry questions are simple, short, and open-ended. They ignite curiosity in the conversation. Here are 4 of my favorites:

1. Can you say more about that?

2. Can you tell me a little bit more?

3. Can you elaborate even further?

4. What was that like for you?

The goal is to encourage the client to unpack their thoughts and feelings. I'm constantly amazed at how exploring the deeper meaning of the question and answer takes the conversation to unexpected places, often full of surprises.

My Number one Tip for Strengthening Relationships

Invite them to lunch. It's that simple. Extend an invitation to the person with whom you're struggling to develop a better connection. The only objective is to get to know them better.

In one case study by Watland, Hallenbeck, & Kresse, (2008) police officers enrolled in an MBA program shared a meal together once a week. More than 69% of the participants indicated that their interactions with each other had positively affected the work of their department.

The initial interactions among participants were built on getting to know each other better. This soon translated to a deeper knowledge and level of trust and the group began relying on each other to solve problems in the work setting.

So, if you are struggling with a relationship, invite them to lunch! What harm can it do? While it may not solve all of your problems, I think you will find if you practice Humble Inquiry, it is a step in the right direction.

7 Steps to Effective Leadership Coaching

Have you ever felt the itch to start a new project, only to be held back by the fear of the unknown? Perhaps you have watched others dive into the world of social media branding or hesitated for months before considering starting a blog of your own. You're not alone in this struggle.

I vividly recall this type of internal battle when the idea of starting this blog first crossed my mind. For over a year, I grappled with self-doubt and nagging questions: Should I really start blogging? What do I have to say that is worth sharing? What will others think of my thoughts and ideas?

Then, one day, I stumbled upon a podcast by Michael Hyatt, and his words were a game-changer: "Stop thinking about it and start doing it." Those simple, actionable steps he shared gave me the boost of confidence I needed to embark on this journey. And here I am today, years later, reaping the rewards of taking that leap of faith.

It also got me thinking that there are probably many others like me facing similar challenges. Perhaps you are hesitant to step into the world of coaching because you are not sure where to begin. If only there were a clear, step-by-step guide that could instill the confidence you need to get started, right?

That's where my experience comes into play. I reflected on my initial coaching sessions, and I have distilled some core elements that can make every coaching engagement successful. I've outlined these seven steps below to help you kickstart your journey:

7 Steps to Successful Coaching

1. Begin with an open mind :

   Coaching does not happen in a vacuum. We all bring our biases and preconceptions. But as a coach myself, it is crucial to approach every client with an open mind. See them as whole and healthy individuals. Even if you have received different information from others, focus on what your client is telling you.

2. Get to know your client:

   Effective coaching begins with understanding your client on a deeper level. Learn about who they are, their life story, what they do, and what they hope to achieve. Consider crafting a set of universal questions that you can apply to any client, and consider using personality assessments for additional insights.

3. Confirm with the client:

   Validation is key. It is essential that you verify the collected data with your client, ensuring they are confident that you understand their perspective.

4. Compare the data to a standard:

   Once you and your client agree on the collected data, compare it to an acceptable standard. The client must also agree with this standard. If they do not, the data loses its relevance.

5. Identify gaps:

   Gaps represent the space between your client's current behavior and the agreed-upon standard. They reveal the difference between where the client is and where they want to be. Discuss these gaps with your client, gathering real-life examples to illustrate them.

6. Set a plan to close the gaps:

   When crafting a plan with your client, focus on one or two specific actions. This "Stop/Start/Continue" model can be invaluable:

   • What behaviors should they stop?

   • What should they start?

   • What should they continue?

   Don't underestimate the power of 'continue' - often, clients are already doing many things right.

7. Establish a follow-up date.

   This is where most coaching relationships falter. Set a date for follow-up at the end of each session. It maintains accountability and strengthens the coaching relationship.

Leadership coaching is a valuable skill that helps individuals transform their aspirations into actions. Whether you are a professional coach, a supervisor, or a parent guiding a youth soccer team, these seven steps can make a world of difference in your journey toward success.

Homework

Identify someone in your life who could benefit from your coaching style or think about someone you are already coaching.

Reflect on your coaching approach - have you followed all seven steps for a successful coaching relationship? Are there any areas you have missed? And how can these steps help you improve not only your coaching but also your own personal growth?

Share your experiences; let's grow and learn together.