Valentine’s Day Is Around the Corner!

I truly understand that we are all juggling so many things, but amidst our busy schedules, it is crucial not to overlook the most significant relationships in our lives. What I truly appreciate about this coming Valentine's Day is the intentionality it encourages.

Valentine's Day is not just about romance; in my life, it is a chance for me to honor the women who hold special places in my life. Each relationship is unique and precious, and on this day, I make it a point to show them how much they mean to me. Whether it's a small gesture or a heartfelt expression, I ensure they feel cherished and valued.

Being Intentional

Reflecting on recent years, I have come to appreciate the true value of all of my relationships. I'll admit, there were times when I prioritized money or business over connections, but I've since realized the importance of being intentional. While work is essential to me, it's not my sole focus anymore. Now, my priority lies in nurturing meaningful relationships.

This Valentine's Day, I'm committed to fostering strong emotional connections. Being intentional means aligning my actions with what truly matters to me and ensuring my relationships thrive.

Emotional Communication

While gifts like flowers or chocolates are thoughtful, they sometimes fall short of expressing our genuine feelings. Instead of solely relying on material tokens, why not delve deeper into emotional connection?

Consider going the extra mile by creating something meaningful for those important to you in your life. Whether it's crafting a poem or taking on a task for them, your effort speaks volumes. Emotional connection thrives on thoughtfulness and attentiveness.

Creating shared experiences is key. From planning a Valentine's Day dinner together to setting the table and preparing the meal as a team, these moments can foster deep emotional connections. It's not always about serious conversations; sometimes, it's the mundane details that strengthen our bonds.

This Valentine's Day, let's prioritize meaningful connections over grand gestures to everyone important in our lives. Whether it's through small talk or shared experiences, the essence lies in being present and attentive. Happy Valentine's Day on Wednesday!

Team Health: Journey to High Performance and Synergy

A few years ago, I found myself at the helm of a discussion with a high-performing team comprised of industry "top guns." These professionals, with a contact list reaching deep into influential customers, had consistently achieved remarkable results, hitting yearly goals well before the third quarter. However, a crucial realization emerged – true excellence and invincibility arise not just from individual prowess but from the collective health of the team.

TEAM HEALTH

Team health, akin to human health, operates on a delicate balance. Just as extreme performance can have detrimental effects on physical health, overemphasizing certain aspects of team performance without considering the holistic system can lead to short-term success and long-term damage.

Reflecting on this concept, I recalled a conversation with a physician friend actively involved with consulting for athletes. He recounted a meeting preparing marathon runners for a race, where 40% of the physician-runners under 55 had heart stents. High performers, regardless of the discipline, must consider all systems contributing to their performance to avoid breakdowns.

My mission, assigned by the organization, was clear – the team needed to recognize themselves as leaders within the organization, requiring self-awareness and self-leadership. This called for double-loop learning, challenging fundamental assumptions and redefining performance.

exploration and advancement

To shift the team's perspective, we explored two ways to encourage learning:

The exploration involved stimulating innovation through exercises like improving listening skills. By listening intensely, the team learned to understand diverse perspectives within the organization, fostering much-needed synergy.

Advancement, on the other hand, focuses on improving existing processes while incorporating innovation. Unhealthy conflict resolution patterns were identified and addressed. Instead of internalizing issues, the team learned to be assertive and flexible in their conflict styles, fostering a healthier and more productive work environment.

As a leader, caring for your team's health is paramount.

Continually exploring and advancing through learning opportunities will not only improve team dynamics but also pave the way for sustained success and organizational synergy.

Unleashing Creativity: A 3-Step Formula for a Productivity Recharge

Question: When was the last time you truly experienced a productivity recharge?

In a society that values knowledge work, creativity is at the heart of what we do. While the term creativity often conjures images of painters and sculptors, it is essential for everyone, including scientists, technologists, and leaders, to recognize and harness their creative potential.

Once, I had a conversation with one of my graduate students who felt overwhelmed and burned out, struggling to complete a research project on time. The realization struck me that more time and effort don't necessarily translate to creativity or effectiveness; they just mean more time and effort.

As knowledge workers, we must admit that there is a limit to how much we can achieve before our minds need a recharge. Athletes understand this concept well—they work hard during peak performance times and then allow their bodies to rest. Similarly, renowned writers like J.R.R. Tolkien and Victor Hugo found inspiration in balancing intense work with rejuvenating activities, things such as long walks.

Margaret Moussa, Maria-Estella Varua, and Matthew Wright's research on knowledge workers emphasizes the importance of self-efficacy and well-being. As leaders, we must ask ourselves whether we can continue treating knowledge workers the same way as traditional productivity workers. Simultaneously, as knowledge workers, we need to question the expectation of cramming more into our days without considering the impact on output quality.

3-STEP Reset Process

Here are three things that I try to do when I feel like I need a productivity reset:

1. Read. Nothing stimulates productivity like reading. When faced with writer's block, delving into poetry or fiction can reignite creative thinking.
   

2. Walk. While exercise is essential, focused workouts may not be the best for generating creative thoughts. A simple walk in nature, basking in the sun, allows creative energy to flow effortlessly.
   

3. Phone a Friend. Community and conversation are powerful catalysts for creativity. Engaging with a coach or a coaching group can provide the inspiration needed to fuel the creative process.

So, as leaders and knowledge workers, our focus should shift from merely measuring productivity to practicing self-care. Activities like reading, taking a walk, or participating in our communities contribute to gaining wisdom, ultimately leading to increased productivity as a natural by-product.

In short, I think it is time to step back and prioritize some self-care, and, who knows, a productivity recharge or a creative breakthrough might just be a walk away!

Navigating Goal Challenges: 5 Reflections on the Journey to Personal Growth

Like many of you, I set ambitious goals for my business, career, and personal life last year. As we approach mid-January 2024, I took a moment to review and assess my progress. In sharing my reflections, I hope to offer insights gained from this reprocess.

The Main Goal: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Time-Bound

Setting a goal that is specific, measurable, achievable, and time-bound is crucial. However, sometimes the journey doesn't unfold as expected. A goal I had was that I aimed to consistently shoot in the mid-80s in golf, but my score of 95 left me frustrated and disappointed. If you're facing similar feelings about your goals, don't get discouraged. Growth often involves setbacks before progress.

5 Lessons I Learned from Not Meeting My Goal:

1. Development Reflection: I Changed My Tools.
   As I pursued improvement in my golf game, I encountered advice to upgrade my equipment. Reflecting on this, I realized that development takes time, and planning is essential. Allow yourself the grace to navigate through the inevitable time lag in achieving your expectations.

2. I Received Some Coaching.
   Improvement often requires guidance. Coaching, whether formal or informal, provides new ideas, practices, and accountability. When was the last time you sought feedback and embraced new approaches in your development journey?

3. I Did Not Practice Regularly Enough.
   Prioritizing practice is key to improvement. Busy months led me to neglect my golf practice, hindering my progress. If development is not a natural strength of yours, regular practice is essential. Consider the expectations you have for yourself and the importance of prioritizing your development.

4. Practicing Extremes.
   Distinguishing between practice and game time is crucial. I learned that taking extreme practice sessions into the game can yield different results. Finding the right balance between challenging practice and consistent performance is essential for sustainable growth.

5. Failure As Learning.
   Failure isn't the end; it's just a part of the learning process. While I still haven't hit my golf target yet, the journey has equipped me with the right tools, coaching, and mindset for a breakthrough. How do you view goals when facing setbacks? Optimism is a valuable skill in responding to challenges.

   Embrace Progress, Embrace Grace

   As we step into this new year, take a moment to revisit your development goals. Be honest in your review, and remember, it's never too late to give yourself grace and restart your progress. See you at the top!

Empowering Your Boss: A Unique Approach to Leadership Development

During one of my Leadership 360 interviews, a direct report posed an uncommon yet thought-provoking question: "How can I help my boss become a better leader?" This query struck a chord as it showcased a genuine desire to contribute to the supervisor's professional growth—an inquiry I hadn't encountered in my nearly two decades of conducting such interviews.

Navigating the fine line of confidentiality, I recognized the need to offer guidance without compromising the privacy of my client's developmental journey. The direct report's eagerness to support her boss's leadership evolution inspired a tactful response.

My Response

My advice centered on fostering self-awareness—a key element in any leader's development. I proposed that she, with a level of trust and willingness to take some risks, help her boss recognize instances where he exhibited strengths or areas he aimed to improve.

For instance, if the boss acknowledged a tendency to micromanage, she could, at an opportune moment, express her observations: "Boss, it seems like you might be micromanaging right now. Is that intentional?" The ensuing silence suggested contemplation, but her eventual commitment to the idea revealed her willingness to contribute positively.

The essence of my counsel lay in aiding leaders to perceive the change they sought. Encouraging self-awareness proves invaluable in leadership development, offering a profound gift to those aiming to refine their skills.

What About You?

Reflecting on this scenario prompts a broader perspective on personal development. While our focus often revolves around our personal growth, extending support to others can be equally gratifying. Consider shifting from problem-solving to inspiring awareness in those around you.

In conclusion, take a moment to inquire how you can assist your leaders in their development. Their responses might not only surprise you but also invigorate your journey of self-improvement.

The Impact of Being Versus Doing: Shaping Organizational Culture

Years ago, I was part of a workplace that cherished the cultural norm of "respect for people." This principle manifested in various positive ways, from empathy during times of personal loss to comprehensive support for parental leaves. It even translated into a performance-based pay system within this respectful environment.

However, the introduction of a leader with an agenda to a specific department disrupted this culture. Changes in performance standards were implemented selectively, causing confusion and dissatisfaction among employees. High-performing individuals received unwarranted low ratings, leading to chaos, fragmentation, and a significant shift away from the once-stable cultural norms.

Within six months, the entire department suffered drastic consequences, resulting in the replacement of the leader. What was once a high-performing organization had been completely dismantled by the actions of a single person. The impact of leadership on team development and organizational culture cannot be underestimated. When team members feel unsafe or undervalued, motivation dwindles, potentially leading to the loss of valuable talent.

So, how can leaders foster a culture that ensures both new and existing team members feel secure and motivated? Perhaps it's not solely about actions, but rather about embodying certain qualities. Focus on nurturing Emotional Intelligence (EI). This endeavor can significantly influence the culture you wish to instill, transforming desired behaviors from occasional acts into inherent traits.

Here are five attributes to embody that can profoundly shape your organization's culture:

1. Be Self-Aware: Understand and confidently navigate your emotions and their impact on the company. Being aware of your emotional responses allows you to consciously choose your reactions.

2. Be Assertive: Communicate clearly and consistently about what needs to be done, how, and why, ensuring the team understands your directives.

3. Be Empathetic: Extend compassion and flexibility, even in challenging situations. Empathy fosters an environment of safety and value among team members.

4. Be in Control: Base decisions on the company's mission and principles rather than impulsive emotional reactions, fostering trust and confidence within the team.

5. Be Optimistic: Embrace positivity and cultivate a mindset that sees setbacks as learning opportunities, inspiring your team through your optimism.

Reflect on these qualities and complete the following statement:

“I want to be more... so that my team can feel... and we'll create a culture that is..."

Share your thoughts with a mentor or coach for guidance. If you need support, feel free to share in the comments or contact me directly for further discussion and assistance. Let's work together to shape a culture that thrives on these principles.

Redefining Resolutions: Crafting Your Leadership Vision for 2024

Have you ever been told to eat more carrots for better vision? It was a common piece of advice from my mom when I was younger. Despite the wisdom, it didn't prevent me from needing sight correction as I grew older. Similarly, the new year is here and we're bombarded with advice on setting goals, but merely setting them isn't enough.

Sure, resolutions are about firm decisions, aiming to reshape aspects of our lives. Over time, I've crafted various New Year’s Resolutions spanning personal, professional, family, and spiritual realms—and I have always had great intentions. While there is nothing wrong with setting a goal, it can be a bit meaningless if it is not aligned with the vision of who you want to be as a leader. 

Your Future as a Leader

This year, consider adding a new dimension: leadership.

Imagine yourself evolving into the leader you aspire to be. Here are ten thoughts to fuel your contemplation on leadership resolutions for the upcoming year:

1. Reflect on becoming a great leader, identifying barriers hindering greatness.

2. Prioritize values over vision.

3. Balance work and contemplation; less doing, more thoughtful planning.

4. Define your personal value proposition, akin to a brand's identity.

5. Identify key networking opportunities within your organization.

6. Embrace FeedForward—offering solutions rather than just observations.

7. Break the cycle of negative thinking hindering progress.

8. Incorporate rest into your work routine for enhanced performance.

9. Assess emotional intelligence and its impact on reactions.

10. Develop a sustainable plan for change and seek coaching for accountability.

Embarking on this leadership journey, I anticipate sharing insights and exploring topics relevant to your interests. May this upcoming year be one of productive and effective leadership for you and your loved ones.

Wishing you and your families a new year filled with growth and success.

Evaluating Leadership Momentum: Reflections, Trends, and Future Pathways

The holiday period between mid-December and mid-January often sees a lull in new coaching or training engagements. It’s a period I've come to utilize for reflection and planning, a time to ponder on the trajectory of my coaching practice for the upcoming year while working with existing clients and welcoming new ones.

As I stand on the threshold of a new year, pivotal questions arise: How many new clients will I engage with? Who will they be? What shape will my coaching practice take in the months ahead? Contemplating these queries is vital for proactive planning, ensuring a successful journey both for me and my clients.

Beyond client engagements, I dedicate time to scrutinizing the nature of the work I’ve undertaken in the past year. Examining my calendar reveals numerous instances of teaching, training, facilitating, coaching, and content creation. Yet, I confront a challenging query: Is this work still relevant? Is it impactful for those who seek my guidance in fostering leadership within their organizations?

Personal reflection becomes paramount. Analyzing how I allocate my time and comparing it with what truly brings me fulfillment in my professional life is integral. In this pursuit, I borrow from the concept of momentum—an idea not only confined to finance but also applicable to assessing relevance in various domains.

My reflective journaling has led to several observations:

Drawing from a financial newsletter I follow, momentum signifies the tendency for recent performance to persist shortly. Analogous to objects in motion staying in motion, it represents an objective measure for strategizing based on real data rather than impulsive decision-making prompted by fleeting external influences.

Emotional Intelligence Endures: The significance of emotional intelligence remains pivotal in leadership development. Dan Goleman aptly encapsulates this by emphasizing EQ over purely cognitive abilities. Organizations often overlook this crucial aspect while emphasizing skill sets and intelligence.

1. Relational Empathy Deficit: In our polarized world, understanding diverse perspectives seems to have taken a back seat. Leaders are increasingly entrenched in their viewpoints, neglecting the skill of empathizing and comprehending others' perspectives, causing a rift in ineffective leadership.

2. Adapting to Ambiguity: Turbulent times necessitate flexibility. Leaders are confronted with ambiguity and change, requiring emotional adaptability and support for their teams amid uncertainty.

3. Nurturing Talent Connections: The current robust job market underscores the importance for senior leaders to actively engage with and nurture talent within their organizations. This involves more than just assessing returns on investments; it's about fostering connections and understanding the aspirations of the workforce.

I invite you to share your thoughts on these observations or contribute your unique insights about your organization. Let's connect and delve into these observations or explore your perspectives as we embark on the possibilities for next year.

Warm regards,

Scott

Having the Courage to Speak Truth to Power in Leadership

in the realm of leadership, a crucial yet daunting task is the ability to communicate truths that challenge the status quo. Henry Kissinger once remarked on the challenge young leaders face when delivering uncomfortable truths to those in positions of authority. This act of 'speaking truth to power' involves presenting contrary information up the hierarchical ladder, often met with potential repercussions that can range from rejection and dismissal to humiliation and isolation.

The weight of this challenge is considerable. Young leaders often find themselves at a crossroads, withholding essential information due to the fear of negative outcomes. However, there exists a significant upside to sharing concealed insights with a leader:

• Recognition for valuable input

• Inclusion in decision-making processes

• Appreciation for displaying courage

• Acknowledgment of one's contribution

Despite the inherent risk and tension in 'speaking truth to power,' it remains an essential responsibility, influenced by various factors:

• Organizational culture and its tolerance for information sharing

• Personal risk tolerance of young leaders

• The leader's historical response to different opinions

Receptivity of the Leader

The burden of initiating these difficult conversations can be likened to wearing a shirt made of lead. However, the duty lies not solely on the deliverer but also on the receiver—particularly senior leaders—to create an environment conducive to open communication. The senior leadership's ability to foster an atmosphere where individuals feel empowered to share crucial information plays a pivotal role.

In a fast-paced organizational landscape driven by a 'get-it-done-now' culture, the pressure to survive often eclipses the necessity to foster an environment of open dialogue and shared truths. As leaders, it becomes imperative to cultivate a culture and persona that welcomes diverse voices and viewpoints.

5 Actionable steps

Here are five actionable steps for leaders seeking to gather comprehensive information crucial for making well-informed decisions:

• Slow down your cadence: Rushing through decisions often leads to tunnel vision. Take deliberate pauses, allowing yourself to explore multiple possibilities.

• Cultivate curiosity: Suspend the need to assert your perspective immediately. Instead, invest effort in understanding others' viewpoints before forming conclusions.

• Express gratitude: Acknowledge and appreciate inputs, even if they challenge your assumptions. Simple acts of gratitude foster a more inclusive and respectful environment.

• Reflect: Engage in introspection at the end of each day. Analyze interactions objectively, focusing on understanding motives and responses without defensiveness.

• Develop your leadership soul: While intelligence and skills are crucial, investing in the inner growth of your leadership persona is equally vital. Explore avenues to nurture and develop your leadership essence.

In navigating the complexities of leadership, embracing the courage to voice uncomfortable truths while fostering an environment that is valuable to such conversations is pivotal. It's in this synergy of openness, reflection, and proactive development that leaders can truly cultivate an atmosphere where every voice is valued and heard.

Homework:

Select one action from the previously mentioned list and practice it consistently for a week. For instance, consciously express gratitude in every interaction or communication you have. Reflect on how this practice impacts your leadership approach, and share your experiences here.

Empowering Teams: Redefining Leadership in Times of Work Overload

As the year winds down and the festive season is here, it is common to witness a prevailing feeling among colleagues and team members. Many express sentiments such as:

• “Let's shelve this until next year; I'm at full capacity for now.”

• “Our team feels stretched thin with everything happening at the moment.”

• “There's an overflow of priorities on everyone's plate right now.”

• “I'm undervalued amidst the chaos; there seems to be a lack of recognition for the small but essential efforts. No one says thank you anymore.”

While reading this, reflect on how you and your team might be feeling:

• Overwhelmed?

• Underappreciated?

• Stressed for various reasons?

Job Crafting and The Research

Amidst these sentiments, a relatively new concept in leadership discussions has emerged—job crafting. This concept of job crafting has been hailed for fostering motivation, self-actualization, and a sense of purpose in work.

Research in The Leadership Quarterly by Elizabeth Solberg and Sut Wong delved into employees' perceptions of their ability to craft their roles amidst work overload. In simpler terms: Can individuals adjust their job responsibilities when feeling overloaded?

Job crafting is often seen as proactive behavior, reflecting self-initiation to instigate necessary changes. However, it is not always anticipative; rather, it is a response to the current workload. Reacting to the present workload seems more common than strategically shaping future responsibilities. The "tyranny of the moment" significantly influences our ability to craft our roles according to our needs.

The study highlights two crucial factors when employees feel overloaded: their perception of a positive resolution and the leader's need for structure.

Considering leadership and follower dynamics, accountability plays a pivotal role. Employees coping with work overload require both adaptability and the initiative to alleviate it.

However, it’s not just the follower's accountability that matters. The leader's control also significantly impacts the team. Research by Dragoni and Kuenzi suggests that leaders who display controlling behavior influence followers to exhibit less freedom or autonomy. Essentially, the more controlling the leader, the less likely the follower will exhibit the freedom to ease work overload.

In times of overwork and stress, maybe the blame doesn't entirely fall on the holiday season or even year-end tasks. Perhaps, it’s the leader's need for control. When leaders exude excessive control, it heightens the workload further, compelling followers to rely more on their guidance.

As a leader, consider this:

• How can you loosen control of the reins and empower your team?

• What value might granting your team more freedom bring to the overall effectiveness of your team?

I think that this holiday season, the gift of letting go of control might not only relieve stress for all but also foster a more empowered and productive team dynamic.

Empowering Leadership Growth: Supporting Your Boss's Development

In a Leadership 360 interview I did last year, a direct report posed a question that had never been asked in nearly two decades of my coaching career: "How can I help my boss become a better leader?" This unexpected inquiry underscored a profound desire to actively contribute to their supervisor's growth and development.

Confidentiality in my coaching sessions is paramount, yet I sought a way to honor the question without compromising my client's privacy. My response pivoted towards fostering self-awareness, a foundational aspect of leadership growth.

Supporting Your Boss's Development

"I believe the most impactful support you can offer your boss is through fostering their self-awareness," I advised. "If your boss has already highlighted their strengths and areas for improvement, consider gently pointing out moments when those aspects manifest."

Encouraging her to navigate this delicate path of offering feedback, I elaborated with an example: "If your boss has expressed a desire to reduce micromanagement, gently address the behavior at that moment. Help them recognize, without coaching or changing them, when they exhibit such tendencies."

The power of guiding leaders to perceive the change they aspire to make is an invaluable gift.

This experience prompted a broader reflection on our roles in personal development. Instead of solely focusing on our growth, why not explore ways to support others in their journey? Shifting the focus from problem-solving to inspiring awareness of opportunities can spark transformative change.

What about you?

I urge you to consider initiating conversations with your leader about supporting their development. Their response might illuminate new avenues for personal growth and invigorate your self-development journey too. By actively engaging in the growth of those around us, we not only contribute to their success but we may also find newfound inspiration for our personal development.

How can you help your boss grow as a leader today?

Mastering Sustainable Change: 5 Steps for Ongoing Success

In the hustle and bustle of this time of year, with Thanksgiving last week and Christmas and the Holidays ahead, many employees in the United States find themselves approaching performance review time in their professional lives. For over-achievers especially, this period can be filled with anticipation and anxiety. Despite pouring our best efforts into our daily tasks, the outcome we get might not always align with our perceived dedication and hard work.

Achieving recognition as a top performer at your workplace can often feel difficult to achieve, which leads us to a proactive question: "What changes can I make to secure more recognition next year?" However, sustaining change is not just about momentary shifts; it requires a strategic approach for lasting transformation.

Here Is Where We Enter the 5 Steps for Ongoing Success:

1. Crafting a Long-Term Value Proposition:

   It is crucial to recognize the lasting value of any change. This involves challenging our personal belief systems and understanding the long-term benefits of them, not just the short-term gains.

2. Experiment with New Behaviors:

   Rather than blindly adopting new behaviors, experimenting with various options allows for more informed decisions. This prevents the need to unlearn and relearn, ensuring the chosen behavior aligns with personal goals.

3. Embrace New Behaviors Across Diverse Settings:

   Embody and put into action these freshly adopted behaviors in a wide array of situations and environments. Sustainability thrives when new behaviors are practiced in different situations. Adapting new behaviors to diverse scenarios solidifies integration into daily routines.

4. Establishing Relational Feedback Loops:

   Change does not occur in isolation. Seeking feedback from various relationships provides valuable insights and fosters a supportive environment for habit formation.

5. Recognizing Milestones and Embracing Achievements:

   Celebrating milestones and acknowledging accomplishments are so important. Whether it is an individual triumph or a shared success, embracing progress significantly strengthens positive change.

Would you like to contribute more strategies for maintaining sustainable change? Feel free to share your insights or experiences in the comments below. Let's start a dialogue to nurture long-term, positive success.

Accountability and Compassion: Growing Together

Back in my youthful days, leafing through books wasn't my usual pastime. Enthralled by basketball, my world centered around watching the sport on TV or shooting hoops whenever I had a spare moment. However, a pivotal shift occurred when I found myself in Mrs. Katobi's fifth-grade class—an experience that fundamentally shaped my views on accountability and learning.

I vividly recall our conversation:

"What brings you joy?" she asked. "Sports. Especially basketball," I replied.

"Fantastic! Find a book about a basketball player and have a book report ready by Monday," she instructed.

“I don’t have any books on basketball players,” I confessed, assuming it would mark the end of our discussion.

"Alright," she said firmly, "I'll speak to your mother about a library visit." And she did.

Instead of hitting the court after school, my mother drove me to our local library. Mrs. Katobi had already alerted the librarian about my quest for a basketball-related book. Amidst the shelves brimming with literary treasures, picking just one amidst that sea of paper seemed daunting.

The librarian, from Peoria Heights Library, inquired, “Who is your favorite basketball player?”

“Wilt the Stilt Chamberlin,” I answered, not expecting to find anything on him and hoping to swiftly return to the court.

To my surprise, she located an autobiography titled 'Wilt: Just Like Any Other 7-Foot Black Millionaire Who Lives Next Door'.

I'll always be grateful to these two women—Mrs. Katobi and the librarian. They understood what I needed, cared enough to set high expectations, and held me accountable while offering support. Mrs. Katobi's initiative to contact my mother and the librarian alleviated obstacles, showcasing genuine care and support.

The Standard was set, accompanied by care and compassion.

the responsibility was now mine.

This scenario resonates with Paul Zak's insights in Harvard Business Review and the Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, highlighting the significance of oxytocin—a powerful neurochemical. Zak emphasizes that people's decisions to engage are voluntary, even in professional settings. Employees consciously choose where they work, driven by environments that promote oxytocin release through care and respect, or seek more affirming spaces elsewhere.

Zak's research underscores oxytocin as the biochemical foundation of the Golden Rule: "If you treat me well, my brain will synthesize oxytocin and motivate me to reciprocate."

I shared Zak's research on Emotional Intelligence with a client, leading to a discussion where accountability intertwined with empathy surfaced. Acknowledging the importance of setting clear goals and holding individuals accountable with care and empathy fosters engagement—this was our mutual understanding.

The story doesn't end there. Completing the book report, I assumed it marked the conclusion. However, Mrs. Katobi surprised us all. "Class," she announced the following week, "I've just read an intriguing report about a towering basketball player. Scott, come up and share what you learned about Wilt the Stilt."

When I finished, the applause echoed.

Zak's research indicates that celebrating success triggers oxytocin surges and the release of dopamine—a reinforcement chemical in the brain. I wonder if Mrs. Katobi knew she was nurturing a lifelong reader at that moment.

Reflecting on this, who at your workplace deserves empathetic acknowledgment? Whose achievements do you plan to celebrate soon?

If someone you know could benefit from contemplating caring accountability, why not share this blog post with them and initiate a discussion?

Mastering Emotional Resilience in the Face of Organizational Challenges

In every organization, navigating significant changes can be a daunting task, testing your emotional balance. You might think, "It's easy to use these tools when things are going well, but how do I stay emotionally resilient when things take a downturn?" The truth is, even in the midst of changes that may impact your role, it's nearly possible to maintain your emotional well-being.

Many situations can be challenging for leaders to handle: downsizing, merging, restructuring, relocating, introducing new leadership, facing project failures, and dealing with ethical or moral dilemmas, among others. Essentially, any change that disrupts your regular routine can be demanding. These situations don't have to be disastrous, but they often involve change that takes you out of your comfort zone.

When your organization experiences a breakdown, it's a tough situation. Emotions run high and people are on edge. The key is to acknowledge the emotions while preventing negativity from taking over. This is the essence of emotional resilience.

Bad things will happen, but as a leader, how can you build your own resilience and guide others toward a brighter future?

The first step in becoming a resilient leader during times of tension and complexity is to be aware of and manage your emotions. In an issue of Leadership Quarterly, Laura Little, Janaki Gooty, and Michelle Williams explored "the role of leader emotional management." Their study of 163 leaders and their followers concluded that when followers perceive that a leader is effectively managing emotions, focusing on meeting expectations, and creating a vision for the future, they have greater confidence in the leadership being provided to them. Alternatively, when followers perceive that leaders suppress their emotions, it leads to a lack of leadership and job satisfaction among their followers.

So, what can you do as a leader to foster effective leadership in challenging times? How can you meet expectations while instilling hope and a sense of purpose in your followers during tough situations?

Consider adopting the "CHECK" approach to maintain your emotional balance:

Consider the Situation

• Observe the situation objectively.

• Identify the emotions it triggers and their root causes.

• Examine whether your emotions are creating false expectations that need managing.

Hear from Others

• Seek input from two or three trusted individuals who can offer valuable perspectives.

• Avoid overindulging in opinions, as it can lead to unproductive gossip and negativity.

Eliminate Negativity

Martin Seligman, past president of the American Psychological Association tells us we need to develop a “positive explanatory style." This is not “The Power of Positive Thinking” we all have heard about. It is much deeper than this. Seligman says, “What you think when you fail is crucial.“ How you explain things to yourself when they don’t go your way is the difference between helplessness and being energized.

• Acknowledge that pessimism suggests there's no hope or solution, which is not true.

• Filter out non-constructive thoughts and focus on constructive solutions.

• Cultivate a "positive explanatory style" as suggested by Martin Seligman, past president of the American Psychological Association. This says that how you explain things when they don’t go your way is the difference between helplessness and being energized.

Create a Plan - Organize and Carry Out

• Define your desired outcome and work backward.

• Document the necessary steps to achieve that outcome.

• Clearly envision success before implementing your plan.

Keep Your Head Up - Stay Consistent, Present, and Motivated

• Stay positive and resilient, no matter the challenges you are facing.

• Find ways to step back, clear your mind, and rejuvenate yourself to stay focused and motivated.

HOMEWORK

Reflect on this acronym and how it can be applied to a challenging situation you're facing.

Write "CHECK" on a note and place it somewhere visible as a reminder of this process. Whenever you see it, contemplate how it can be utilized to address the tensions affecting you and your organization.

Transforming Work Relationships: The Power of Humble Inquiry

When a coaching client begins with, "I'm struggling with a person on my team, and our relationship isn't great. Can you give me some advice?" I know an interesting conversation is about to unfold. As a leadership coach, my approach focuses on delving deep into the individual's inner world to help them find the right responses and actions. Rather than serving as an oracle, I try to take on the role of an investigator, asking questions that will guide them toward their own self-discovery.

Unpacking the Complexity:

Conversations about work relationship challenges always lead me to a plethora of questions. Each question below aims to illuminate a different facet of the issue:

• Why is there a struggle?

  Understanding the root causes is always the first step toward resolving any difficulty.

• What about this person makes the situation challenging?

  Identifying specific issues can provide insights into potential solutions.

• Is this a recurring issue with others on the team?

  Exploring whether this is an isolated case or a pattern can be enlightening.

• How do you define a successful working relationship?

  Clarifying the desired outcome is crucial for setting the right goals.

• Do you have positive relationships with other team members?

  Contrasting problematic relationships with successful ones can reveal commonalities or differences between team members.

• Are there external factors affecting the relationship?

  Considering broader contexts can help uncover the bigger picture beyond individual dynamics.

  No matter which question I choose, the answers usually surprise me. For instance, in response to "Why is there a struggle?" I might hear, "This person reminds me of someone from my past who treated me horribly," or "They are a micromanager, so the further I stay away from them, the better."

The Hack: The Art of Humble Inquiry

To effectively coach in these situations, I follow Edgar Schein's concept of "Humble Inquiry." It's about asking questions without preconceived answers and with a genuine interest in the other person. This requires humbling myself, setting aside my needs, and focusing entirely on the person in front of me.

Humble Inquiry Questions

Humble Inquiry questions are simple, short, and open-ended. They ignite curiosity in the conversation. Here are 4 of my favorites:

1. Can you say more about that?

2. Can you tell me a little bit more?

3. Can you elaborate even further?

4. What was that like for you?

The goal is to encourage the client to unpack their thoughts and feelings. I'm constantly amazed at how exploring the deeper meaning of the question and answer takes the conversation to unexpected places, often full of surprises.

My Number one Tip for Strengthening Relationships

Invite them to lunch. It's that simple. Extend an invitation to the person with whom you're struggling to develop a better connection. The only objective is to get to know them better.

In one case study by Watland, Hallenbeck, & Kresse, (2008) police officers enrolled in an MBA program shared a meal together once a week. More than 69% of the participants indicated that their interactions with each other had positively affected the work of their department.

The initial interactions among participants were built on getting to know each other better. This soon translated to a deeper knowledge and level of trust and the group began relying on each other to solve problems in the work setting.

So, if you are struggling with a relationship, invite them to lunch! What harm can it do? While it may not solve all of your problems, I think you will find if you practice Humble Inquiry, it is a step in the right direction.

How Does Risk Impact Your Team's Productivity and Results?

Unlocking the Power of Risk and Understanding 8 Risk Types on Your Team

Do risk and reward go hand in hand, or does reward emerge as an outcome of taking risks? Imagine a scenario within your team where one member is a risk-taker, characterized as 'carefree,' while another is more risk-averse, categorized as 'wary.' Now, the team faces a crucial decision, whether it's about a product launch or structuring a presentation. In this setting, the carefree individual is eager to dive into action, while the wary team member advocates for a more cautious approach.

Team dynamics play a crucial role, and these differing risk preferences can tip the balance or lead to a standstill. Consequently, emotions can run high, and effective communication can become a challenge. The feeling of being stuck often has nothing to do with talent or skill. It stems from the varying risk tolerance of the team members. Risk introduces a unique emotional dimension, akin to the impact of change. Each one of us possesses a distinct risk threshold, and when that threshold is challenged, emotions, anxiety, and fear intensify, influencing our perception of risk in a given situation.

Understanding the 8 Risk Types

1. Excitable:

   This risk type combines impulsivity and attraction to risk with moments of distress and regret. Excitable people fluctuate between enthusiastic optimism and pessimistic negativity, often responding emotionally to events.

2. Intense:

   People falling into this category tend to be anxious and worrisome, always expecting the worst. They take decisions personally and can experience intense and drastic mood swings.

3. Wary:

   Characterized by self-discipline and a focus on risk, wary people are cautious, organized, and prioritize security. They seek predictability and may struggle with making decisions.

4. Prudent:

   Those in this category exhibit high self-control, preferring established procedures and a prudent, conservative approach. They are cautious and prefer familiarity.

5. Deliberate:

   Combining calm self-confidence with caution, these deliberate people are well-organized and systematic, balancing risk acceptance with a desire for preparation.

6. Composed:

   Cool-headed and unemotional, composed individuals remain optimistic and manage stress well. They are not overly impulsive or systematic.

7. Adventurous:

   Adventurous types combine impulsiveness with fearlessness, often disregarding convention. Their decision-making is influenced by a lack of anxiety and impulsivity.

8. Carefree:

   Disliking routine and authority, carefree individuals may appear reckless and impulsive. Their objectives may seem vague due to a lack of preparation.

These risk types are derived from the "Compass Risk Type Indicator" by Multi-Health Systems. Using this tool, you can assess the risk types of your team members and gain a comprehensive view of your team's risk profiles. By understanding these risk types, leaders can navigate team dynamics more effectively and leverage the unique risk profiles of each team member.

Nearly every decision involves an element of risk, and various factors influence an individual's willingness to take risks. As leaders, it is essential to be aware of how team members interpret and respond to risk, starting with self-awareness.

So, next time your team faces a decision-making deadlock, consider these risk types and explore whether differences in risk approach could be impacting the team’s productivity and results. Understanding and embracing these differences can be the key to unlocking your team's full potential.

7 Steps to Effective Leadership Coaching

Have you ever felt the itch to start a new project, only to be held back by the fear of the unknown? Perhaps you have watched others dive into the world of social media branding or hesitated for months before considering starting a blog of your own. You're not alone in this struggle.

I vividly recall this type of internal battle when the idea of starting this blog first crossed my mind. For over a year, I grappled with self-doubt and nagging questions: Should I really start blogging? What do I have to say that is worth sharing? What will others think of my thoughts and ideas?

Then, one day, I stumbled upon a podcast by Michael Hyatt, and his words were a game-changer: "Stop thinking about it and start doing it." Those simple, actionable steps he shared gave me the boost of confidence I needed to embark on this journey. And here I am today, years later, reaping the rewards of taking that leap of faith.

It also got me thinking that there are probably many others like me facing similar challenges. Perhaps you are hesitant to step into the world of coaching because you are not sure where to begin. If only there were a clear, step-by-step guide that could instill the confidence you need to get started, right?

That's where my experience comes into play. I reflected on my initial coaching sessions, and I have distilled some core elements that can make every coaching engagement successful. I've outlined these seven steps below to help you kickstart your journey:

7 Steps to Successful Coaching

1. Begin with an open mind :

   Coaching does not happen in a vacuum. We all bring our biases and preconceptions. But as a coach myself, it is crucial to approach every client with an open mind. See them as whole and healthy individuals. Even if you have received different information from others, focus on what your client is telling you.

2. Get to know your client:

   Effective coaching begins with understanding your client on a deeper level. Learn about who they are, their life story, what they do, and what they hope to achieve. Consider crafting a set of universal questions that you can apply to any client, and consider using personality assessments for additional insights.

3. Confirm with the client:

   Validation is key. It is essential that you verify the collected data with your client, ensuring they are confident that you understand their perspective.

4. Compare the data to a standard:

   Once you and your client agree on the collected data, compare it to an acceptable standard. The client must also agree with this standard. If they do not, the data loses its relevance.

5. Identify gaps:

   Gaps represent the space between your client's current behavior and the agreed-upon standard. They reveal the difference between where the client is and where they want to be. Discuss these gaps with your client, gathering real-life examples to illustrate them.

6. Set a plan to close the gaps:

   When crafting a plan with your client, focus on one or two specific actions. This "Stop/Start/Continue" model can be invaluable:

   • What behaviors should they stop?

   • What should they start?

   • What should they continue?

   Don't underestimate the power of 'continue' - often, clients are already doing many things right.

7. Establish a follow-up date.

   This is where most coaching relationships falter. Set a date for follow-up at the end of each session. It maintains accountability and strengthens the coaching relationship.

Leadership coaching is a valuable skill that helps individuals transform their aspirations into actions. Whether you are a professional coach, a supervisor, or a parent guiding a youth soccer team, these seven steps can make a world of difference in your journey toward success.

Homework

Identify someone in your life who could benefit from your coaching style or think about someone you are already coaching.

Reflect on your coaching approach - have you followed all seven steps for a successful coaching relationship? Are there any areas you have missed? And how can these steps help you improve not only your coaching but also your own personal growth?

Share your experiences; let's grow and learn together.

The Essential Role of Leaders: Being Your Team's Lifeline

A few years ago, after a much-needed vacation, I decided to set aside some extra time for writing and research. During this period, my interactions with my coaching and training clients were limited to text and phone conversations. Back then, remote work was not as common as it is now, and this transition was quite a novel experience for me.

About 10 days into this remote working experiment, I noticed something unusual. I was beginning to feel a bit down. It wasn't a full-blown depression, but rather a subtle sense of decline in my overall mood. It felt like I was slowly sinking, and this puzzled me. After all, I had just returned from a relaxing vacation, and I had plenty of meaningful work ahead of me.

But, despite all these positive aspects, there it was—a distinct feeling of not having enough connections to sustain my love for my work.

A lifeline, as defined, is a rope or line used for life-saving, typically thrown to rescue someone in difficulties in water or used by sailors to secure themselves to a boat. Life can throw us into situations that give us a similar feeling of sinking or being stuck. When we lack support to anchor us, we can start to feel alone and hopeless.

From time to time, every one of us needs a lifeline of care and compassion from others.

Understanding Basic Human Psychology

It's widely recognized in the field of psychology that the feeling of isolation can be a key determinant for a wide range of human ailments, from depression to even premature death.

In fact, The Wall Street Journal reported that there are surprisingly few public health initiatives to combat loneliness, despite its status as a health risk "riskier to health and survival than cigarette smoking or obesity."

So, is loneliness a bigger health risk than smoking or being overweight?

If loneliness indeed poses a greater health risk than smoking or obesity, it becomes a matter that leaders should pay much closer attention to. Are there individuals within our sphere of influence who desperately need a lifeline?

The Impact on Leadership

In a revealing study published in October 2017 in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, researchers delved into the impacts and categories of social contact, or the lack thereof, that might predict clinical depression. Their findings were illuminating.

They studied over 11,000 people over the age of 50 and found that only face-to-face interaction forestalled depression in older adults. Phone calls made a difference for those with a history of mood disorders but not for others. Surprisingly, email and text messages had no impact at all.

The lifeline that people need, according to this study, is face-to-face interaction.

What Can Leaders Do to Be Part of the Solution?

As leaders, we hold a unique position of influence and responsibility. We can be intentional in providing the lifeline of care and compassion that others may desperately need. Here's how we can adapt a list of steps from Mayoclinic.org, designed to prevent depression, to leader-follower interactions:

• Become Attuned to Stress: Understand what stress looks like for those on your team. Learn to recognize early signs and be proactive in addressing them.

• Regular Team Meetings: Schedule regular meetings with your team members, ideally every 1-2 weeks, or as often as possible, taking appropriate COVID precautions. Prioritize these meetings to foster connections and open communication.

• Listen and Ask Questions: In your interactions with your team, spend most of your time listening and asking questions rather than immediately jumping into "solve mode." Your genuine interest in their well-being can serve as a lifeline of support.

• Face-to-Face Interaction: Whenever possible, meet with your team members in person. If not feasible, use video chat options like FaceTime or Zoom to maintain a more personal connection.

• Boost Confidence: Give your team members assurances that you believe in them and their capabilities. Building their self-esteem can be a powerful form of support.

• Learning from Mistakes: Foster a culture that encourages learning from mistakes. Let your team know that setbacks are part of the journey, and it's an opportunity for growth.

• Spot Check-Ins: During times of high stress, perform spot check-ins with your team members to ensure they are coping well and provide additional support if needed.

• Early Support: If a team member seems down or faces challenges, ask about it early. Your proactive approach can be the lifeline they require.

• Mini-Sabbaticals: Consider offering frequent mini-sabbaticals as a way to rejuvenate and recharge your team's spirit.

How often are you connecting with those you lead? How intentional are you in making connections? Who on your team appears to be struggling and could use the reassurance that you believe in them?

Your lifeline of care and compassion might be precisely what's needed to help your team reach its peak performance. In leadership, as in life, genuine connections and support can make all the difference.

The Secret to Self-Reflection

A while back, I had a conversation with a young man who was interested in applying for his first leadership role. This young soul recounted all of his accomplishments to me: bonuses earned, awards won, and recognition given to him by his organization for his outstanding performance.

As he continued to try and convince me that he was ready to take the next step, I sat back and thought, “Why is he trying to persuade me?”

The Conversation Was Quite One-Sided

As I continued to listen during the conversation, my thoughts turned and I realized that he was not trying to convince me, he was trying to convince himself. Even though he had received rewards and recognition, he knew in his heart of hearts that he was not ready for the role. His peers were being promoted all around him, and this caused him to take on their call as his own.

My role as a coach was not to judge whether he was ready or not, my role was to help him explore his reality so that he could make informed decisions about his own life. After he stopped talking, we ate in silence. A long and very uncomfortable pause ensued, and I said. “You're not ready.” My intention was not to judge him, but rather to shock his ignition and get him thinking.

He immediately became defensive. "What do you mean I am not ready?" he asked. Immediately, he launched into his list of accomplishments again. I let him go on until it seemed he was out of breath. When he finished I said, “You have all the WHAT that you need. You have all of your individual contributions. You have shown your skill and capability. I think you might be missing the HOW.”

“What Do You Mean by the How?”

When he asked me this, I turned to one of my favorite modern-day philosophers, Parker J. Palmer, who wrote, “I now know myself to be a person of weakness and strength, liability and giftedness, darkness and light. I now know that to be whole means to reject none of it, but to embrace all of it.”

My young friend was still trying to embrace all of his strengths as an individual contributor. He was still selling to himself the idea that these attributes were enough for him to lead others. He was also not being completely honest with himself or in his description of his accomplishments. He was grandstanding, and frankly, it made me uncomfortable just listening to it.

So I asked him, “Would you tell me about a time when you worked on a project that did NOT succeed?” Long silence again. I could tell he was stuck.

The thinking in his head must have been like a game of chess, calculating his next best move. He was probably thinking that if he told me about an unsuccessful project then he was admitting to failure and that he would look bad, but if he didn’t tell me anything, then he would look arrogant. I could just see the thoughts rolling around in his head like a pair of dice being shaken. I said, "You see, what Palmer is saying is that you have to know your whole self. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. Until you are ready to embrace your weaknesses, I don’t think you are ready to lead. Begin to think about HOW you accomplished your work, then frame your story around that.”

Self-Regard: The Ability to Respect and Accept Yourself

Self-regard essentially involves liking yourself the way you are. This competency ensures the leader has enough self-confidence that others would want to follow them. That their self-worth is balanced with enough empathy that the leader is going to be able to get through good times and bad.

Eleanor Roosevelt is famous for saying, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." People who have positive self-regard have a real sense of identity and work to overcome feelings of inadequacy or inferiority.

In order to lead others, you must have enough confidence to lead yourself. Then, you must have enough empathy to realize that leadership is not about your identity, but your relationships with your followers that matter. Appreciate your positive qualities, and accept your limitations. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to like yourself. After all, if you don’t, why should they?

Reflection Question:

What value would it provide for you to understand your strengths, and what would it feel like for you to embrace your weaknesses?

Here Is Some Advice That You Can Use..Or Not

From time to time I receive questions from readers asking for advice on how to handle certain leadership situations. One thing you have to know is that I am not big on giving advice. To be able to advise, I think you need a lot of details on the situation the person finds themselves in. There are usually so many details that could sway something one way or another.

Douglas Stone and Sheila Henn in Thanks for the Feedback say that the problem with advice is that it is not specific enough. We tend to give some sage comments without giving enough detail to implement them. Or, we are such experts in something we assume that everyone knows our jargon. For example, “When you deliver your presentation make sure it stands out.” This is interesting, but what does “stand out” even mean?

The other thing that makes advice hard is that when I give it I now own the result. Since it was my idea, it is in some way on me if it doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter if the person didn’t follow my advice the way I laid it out, or if they took some of it, but not all of it. The advice didn’t work and I am in some way responsible. That is usually why I prefer to coach and help people find options that seem reasonable and doable for them to try versus just giving advice.

One thing I had to learn as I was growing as an executive coach, mostly the hard way, is that while coaching is in some respects about helping people solve problems, it is far from telling them what to do. It is more about what Parker Palmer calls “pulling out their inner teacher.” Helping them see options and then supporting the options they choose is, to me, more of what coaching is about.

So, when I get a question from a reader seeking advice, I usually will read it and ponder it for a week or more. I am not thinking about what the person should do in the situation described, or what I would do if I were them. Instead, my thoughts usually turn more to trying to understand the context of the situation they might be in and then coming up with some general guidelines or options they could choose.

With that in mind, I did receive a fantastic question from someone who has read this blog for years.

The Question

“How do leaders know when to intervene in order to promote better collaboration and stop the group in-fighting versus just reorganizing the department? Is there a tipping point where a simple intervention can help to resolve the issue rather than incur an expensive reorganization?”

My Thoughts

As pondered this question, I really saw two very distinct ideas emerging. The first is organizational and the second has to do with how teams function.

The organizational aspect has to do with the needs of the organization and strategically how the group is put together to meet the needs of the organization, while the team function is more about the relationships amongst the members of the group. I want to tackle these areas independently, and then bring them together for you.

The Organization

Teams are formed to meet a specific need that the organization has realized. Teams of people come together in an organized fashion to accomplish a specific set of goals or tasks. They can also come together as change agents. This allows them to move the organization from an old set of objectives to new goals that move it closer to completing its mission and making the vision a reality.

As I step back and think about the question above, if I am going to reorganize a department, then there needs to be a strategic reason. There will likely have been some change, either internally, like a new or redefined mission, or externally, like a shift in customer demands. This type of change to reorganize will be driven by forces external to the team. Something has happened that causes what the team is doing to not be as valuable to the organization. Rather than dismantle the team completely (reorganize), the team is given a new set of goals and objectives that match the external reality.

Reorganizations are chaotic, emotional, and expensive. The external pressures being experienced need to be greater than the emotional and financial cost to reorganize. Reorganizing dysfunctional people on a team only sends the dysfunction to another part of the organization. Dysfunctional people in an organization have attitudes and behaviors that are destructive and if left to their own devices will have a very bad effect on the organization. Just because an organization can afford to do it doesn’t mean that is the right thing to do.

The Relationships of the Team

If teams are not functioning well, a leader or coach has to be able to step into this moment. It takes both personal courage and a mindset that the needs of the organization outweigh any personal agendas that might exist. The leader must have the courage to call out behaviors that are not conducive to good team functioning.

General Stanley McChrystal, in his book Team of Teams, writes that “superteams” are able to construct a strong lattice of trusting relationships. He makes the point that in a true team environment, the leader needs to be less concerned with hierarchy and command; what their position is, and telling individuals what to do, and more concerned with ensuring that trusting relationships are forming so that there is a supportive network to perform.

Trust amongst team members is ensuring people are comfortable being vulnerable about weaknesses, mistakes, fears, and behaviors without fear of reprisal. So, if someone doesn’t know something, they are not judged for the lack of knowledge, but supported in getting the knowledge they need. A teammate should feel a sense of confidence to admit a weakness and have someone on the team come alongside them and say something like “Here, let me help you with that.”

There are three things I find vital for a team to be able to trust each other:

1. Cultural Integrity - As a group, we are always going to do the right thing. If someone on the team is being mean, as a team we are going to go to the person and let them know that this is not how our team behaves. We want to have them on the team, but the culture here is one of kindness and respect. Integrity matters always.

2. Comfort with Vulnerability - Teammates have to be willing to admit their weaknesses and mistakes and can never be penalized or punished when they do. If you are a person who avoids conflict, you should be able to admit this to your team and they need to come alongside and help you get better at this. The team has to believe in you and that you can help them improve. It all starts with a culture of realizing we are all human and we all fall short somewhere.

3. Confidence in the Members - No single one of us holds all the answers. Teams have to believe in the mission and have confidence in each other to tackle whatever is put before them. As individual humans, we crave safety and security. Taking risks is not always a safe feeling. This is the value of the team. As an individual, my need is for safety. The team is there to support each other to take risks and achieve much more than an individual ever could. High-performing teams have confidence in each other.

Back to the question at hand. I would argue that one of the main purposes of the leader of a team is to foster a culture of collaboration that leads to results. Not a collaboration so that every person touches everything, but trusting each other enough to know I don’t have to touch something if you are.

The leader is the person accountable if someone is not living up to the team charter of expectations. The leader should rally the team to their responsibility of pulling that person back in line. If the team won’t do it, then the leader has two jobs. One is with the team to create a culture of team discipline, and the other is with the person who is not living up to team standards by coaching them individually.

My position is that if there is a group in conflict, then the leader is accountable. Maybe if there has to be a reorganization because of this very non-strategic reason, it should come out of the leader’s bonus.

What about you? What advice would you share in response to this very interesting question? Is this advice you can use, or not? I would love your input. Thank you, Jenny, for helping us all think.