Flex Your Feedback: A Leader's Guide to Communication Fitness

“Who has time to give feedback these days? Have you seen my calendar?”

"Why rock the boat? Things are fine as they are."

"Feedback? That's what performance reviews are for, right?"

Do these sentiments sound familiar? As a coach, I’ve heard all the excuses. But I've also seen the flip side—the untapped potential & missed opportunities that pile up when feedback takes a back seat.

So why do so many of us avoid it? And more importantly, how can we get better at it?

Enter "Feedback Fitness" — a practical approach to strengthening your feedback skills. Just like working out our physical bodies, it takes consistent practice to see gradual improvement.

Are you ready to flex your feedback muscles? 

The Feedback Fitness Test

Before we dive into our training regimen, let's assess your current feedback fitness level. Ask yourself:

1. How often do you give or receive feedback in a typical week?

2. Do you feel comfortable initiating feedback conversations?

3. Can you receive critical feedback without becoming defensive?

4. Do you adapt your feedback style based on the recipient?

If these questions left you feeling like you've been skipping leg day at the feedback gym, you’re in the right place. Even feedback "couch potatoes" can become communication all-stars. Use your answers as a baseline to track your progress. If you scored low, set small, achievable goals to improve. If you're already doing well, challenge yourself to refine your skills further.

Core Feedback Exercises

Let's start with some fundamental exercises to build your feedback muscles:

1. Clarity Crunches:
   When giving feedback, be specific and focus on behaviors, not personality. Instead of saying "You're unreliable," try "I noticed you missed the last two project deadlines."
   

2. Active Listening Lunges:
   Practice truly hearing the other person. Paraphrase what they've said to ensure understanding before responding.
   

3. Empathy Stretches:
   Put yourself in the other person's shoes. How might they be feeling? What might be driving their behavior?

Putting Your Feedback Fitness into Practice

Now that we've covered the basics, it's time to integrate these skills into your daily leadership routine. Think of this as moving from isolated exercises to a full workout regimen. And remember - consistency is crucial for seeing results:

1. Make Feedback a Daily Habit: Don't reserve feedback for formal reviews. Look for opportunities to offer quick, constructive comments throughout your day. This keeps your feedback skills sharp and makes the process feel more natural over time.
   

2. Adapt Your Approach: Recognize that different situations and team members may require different feedback styles. Develop the flexibility to adjust your approach as needed, much like varying your workout to target different areas.
   

3. Focus on Improvement: Frame your feedback in terms of growth and future performance. This forward-looking approach is more motivating and constructive than dwelling on past mistakes.
   

4. Listen Actively: Remember that effective feedback is a two-way street. Practice your active listening skills by encouraging the recipient to share their perspective. This not only provides valuable context but also strengthens your working relationships.
   

5. Follow Up: After giving significant feedback, check in on progress. This demonstrates your commitment to your team's development and ensures that your feedback leads to meaningful change.

By making these feedback exercises a regular part of your leadership routine, you're building a stronger, more resilient communication style. Keep at it & you’ll be seeing gains in no time! 

Embracing Your Feedback Fitness Journey

Mastering the art of feedback is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, & persistent effort to see significant improvement. There will be days when the feedback conversation feels as challenging as that last set of burpees. But with each interaction, you're building strength, flexibility, & endurance in your communication skills.

So, I challenge you: In your next interaction, flex those feedback muscles. Pay attention to how it changes the dynamic. Reflect on what worked well & where you can improve. The strength you build through consistent practice will not only redefine your leadership journey but also inspire those around you to flex their own feedback muscles, too. 

Are you ready to transform your leadership & your organization through the power of feedback? Your workout starts now! 

Dare to Doubt: Rethinking Your Way to Extraordinary Leadership

“Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

— George Barnard Shaw

What if the key to extraordinary leadership lies not in what we know, but in what we're willing to reconsider?

In my years as a coach, I've noticed something interesting: the most effective leaders are those who dare to question their own convictions.  This willingness to "think again," a concept wisely explored by Adam Grant in his book of the same name, isn't just a characteristic of exceptional leadership; it's a skill that can be cultivated through emotional intelligence.

At the heart of this ability is the understanding that leadership is a journey of continuous learning. But here's the crucial part: this growth mindset isn't just about accumulating knowledge. It's about developing the emotional intelligence to apply that knowledge effectively, transforming information into impactful action.

The Never-Ending Classroom of Leadership

Recently, I was working with a CEO who prides himself on his decisive leadership style. "I don't have time for second-guessing," he told me. But as we dove a little deeper, we uncovered a blind spot. His quick decisions, while efficient, were often alienating his team. This discovery highlighted a critical point: our leadership beliefs, no matter how firmly held, deserve regular reevaluation.

The truth is, in our fast-paced world, standing still is often equivalent to moving backward. Continuous learning is essential for personal & professional growth.

But here's where emotional intelligence comes into play – it's not just about learning new facts or skills. It's about developing the self-awareness to recognize our knowledge gaps AND the adaptability to fill them.

So, how can we cultivate this habit of lifelong learning? Here are just a few strategies I recommend to get you started: 

1. Dedicate daily time for reading & reflection through journaling

2. Ask for feedback from peers, mentors, & team members regularly

3. Engage with cross-functional projects when possible to broaden your perspectives

Remember, the goal isn't to know everything, but to remain curious & open to new ideas. 

Daring to Doubt: The Courage of Self-Examination

Remember my client, the CEO who prided himself on his decisive leadership style? I’m glad to report his journey didn't end with the realization that his quick decisions were alienating his team. It was just the beginning.

When was the last time you challenged a core belief about your leadership style? As leaders, we must be willing to question and re-question our thoughts and beliefs regularly. This process, although at times uncomfortable, is essential for our own professional development and the success of our teams.

For my client, it meant reconsidering his long-held belief that efficient decision-making was the cornerstone of effective leadership. Through the process of rethinking, he came to realize that this belief was interfering with his ability to connect with his team, particularly the younger generation of employees who valued collaboration & inclusion in the decision-making process.

By challenging this long-held belief & developing his emotional intelligence, particularly in the areas of empathy & active listening, he was able to create a more engaged, productive work environment. His decisions became not just efficient, but also more inclusive & well-rounded.

Take a few moments and think about what it might look like for you to...

• Regularly reflect to examine your decision-making processes?

• Seek diverse perspectives, especially from those who disagree with you?

• Play devil's advocate with your own ideas?

• Encourage constructive dissent within your team?

Rethink, Grow, Lead

Rethinking is not an easy process. It requires commitment, courage, & a willingness to be vulnerable. But the rewards – more effectiveness, stronger teams, & personal growth – are immeasurable.

Remember, extraordinary leadership isn't about having all the answers—it's about having the courage to question them. 

As you step into your next leadership challenge, ask yourself: What can I rethink? What can I learn? How can I grow? Your willingness to engage with these questions may just be your greatest leadership asset.

Humility: The Key to Future-Proof Your Leadership

From the rise of personal computers in the 1980s to the internet boom of the 1990s, the mobile revolution of the 2000s, and the social media explosion of the 2010s, technological changes have always presented both challenges & opportunities for leaders.

The question isn't whether AI will change our roles - it already has. The real question is: How do we, as leaders, evolve to ensure we're not merely keeping pace, but setting it?

The Paradox of Leadership in the Age of AI

We've traditionally equated leadership with having the right answers, but in the AI era the value in asking the right questions cannot be underestimated. This shift requires a trait that too often seems counterintuitive in the competitive business world: humility.

The HUMBLE Advantage

Humility, in this context, doesn’t mean self-deprecation or false modesty. It’s about intellectual humility - recognizing the limitations of our knowledge & being open to new ideas, thoughts, & perspectives.

In "Humility is the New Smart: Rethinking Excellence in the Smart Machine Age," authors Hess and Ludwig argue that humility is a competitive advantage in our AI-driven world. But why? Let's explore the HUMBLE actions demonstrated by effective leaders in this new era:

• Harnessing Innovation: Humble leaders create safe environments where team members feel empowered to challenge the status quo.

• Understanding Limitations: By acknowledging what we don't know, we create opportunities for continuous learning, a critical skill in modern leadership.

• Maximizing Strengths: Humility allows us to recognize & leverage diverse strengths within our teams & systems.

• Building Collaboration: Humble leaders facilitate better teamwork by recognizing & valuing each member's contributions.

• Leading with Openness: Embracing new ideas & perspectives supports a culture of innovation & adaptability.

• Encouraging Inquiry: Humble leaders inspire curiosity & self-discovery, promoting a continuous learning mindset.

This HUMBLE approach gives leaders a framework for supporting adaptive, innovative organizations while navigating the complexities of the AI era.

Challenge Yourself: How do you respond when your ideas are questioned? Imagine the impact on your leadership if your first instinct was to view every challenge as a chance to learn and grow.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Humility in Leadership

• Seek Feedback Regularly: Encourage open, honest feedback. This shows your team you value their input & reveals your opportunities for growth.

• Admit Mistakes: Acknowledge errors & take responsibility. This powerful example encourages a culture of transparency & trust.

• Promote a Continuous Learning Environment: Create safe spaces for experimentation & development. Embrace failure as a stepping stone to innovation.

• Value Diverse Perspectives: Actively seek out diverse viewpoints in decision-making. This not only leads to better outcomes but also reinforces inclusivity.

As technology evolves, so do the benchmarks for effective leadership. In the AI era, leadership demands asking great questions, navigating uncertainty, & dedication to never stop learning. By embracing the value of humility, leaders equip themselves to tackle organizational challenges & drive meaningful progress. 

Mid-Year Check-In: Are Your Goals on Track?

Time flies—we're already halfway through the year! This time of year offers a perfect opportunity to reflect on the goals you set in January. Are you on course, or have you encountered some turbulence? 

Taking Flight with Your Goals

Think of your yearly goals as embarking on a flight. In January, you’re on the runway, full of enthusiasm, with clear direction. Let's say your goal was to exercise three times a week. You’ve planned your route, secured your seat, and feel confident about the journey ahead.

As February arrives, the initial momentum builds—much like the plane gathering speed. You might have started researching gyms, buying new workout gear, and feeling the rush of progress.

By March, you're cruising at 30,000 feet. The novelty fades, and maintaining that initial excitement becomes challenging. This phase often feels like a plateau. But here's a critical reminder: just because you can't feel the speed, doesn't mean you're not moving.

The Illusion of Stagnation

Our emotions can often mislead us. The dopamine rush from starting something new diminishes, but this doesn’t equate to a lack of progress. Your plane is still soaring at 450 miles an hour. Despite the months slipping by—March, April, May—you are in the air. You haven't crashed. You have not failed!

Reflect on your goals with objectivity. Avoid the trap of negative self-assessment. Instead, take the opportunity to re-evaluate and adjust.

Evaluating Your Goals with a SMART Approach

S: Specific
Were your goals clearly defined? Beyond stating your objectives, get specific about the reasons behind them. For example, if your goal is to develop young leaders, your “why” might be to prepare them for future responsibilities through workshops or mentoring.

M: Measurable
Can you track your progress? Measurable goals have milestones and help maintain motivation. If progress isn't visible, it’s harder to stay engaged and determine success.

A-R: Achievable and Realistic
These two elements are intertwined. Consider the feasibility of your goals within the given timeframe with the resources available. Circumstances might have shifted over the past six months—acknowledge these changes. Adjust your goals or timeline without perceiving it as a failure. Small tweaks can realign your path without requiring a complete overhaul.

T: Time-bound
Deadlines create a sense of urgency but should be flexible enough to accommodate unforeseen changes. Use the pressure constructively. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pause to identify distractions and implement strategies to keep yourself moving forward.

Recognize Progress and Keep Flying

Be proud of the progress you've made, no matter how incremental it might seem. Continuous self-awareness and adaptability enable you to navigate challenges effectively. Remember, we’re only halfway through 2024. Stay focused, maintain your altitude, and land your goals with confidence and clarity. 

Are You Listening? The Surprising Truth About Leadership Success

Think about a recent meeting you participated in. Have you noticed how often we talk AT each other rather than WITH each other? As an executive coach specializing in Emotional Intelligence (EI), I've observed a disturbing trend: the decline of genuine dialogue in our professional interactions.

Picture this scenario: A leader bursts into their team's virtual meeting, rattles off a list of demands, and exits without pausing for input. Sound familiar? The "do this, think this way, be quiet, and go there" approach is alarmingly common in our current business landscape. But what's the cost of this communication style on team morale, productivity, and overall organizational success?

The Root of Reactivity

In times of stress or uncertainty – like the global challenges we've faced recently – our tendency to react rather than respond increases dramatically. This reaction is rooted in our brain's limbic system, the seat of our emotions and stress responses.

When we're in a reactive state, our ability to listen, empathize, and think critically diminishes. We might rush to judgment or make decisions without fully considering the consequences, much like an impulsive child ignoring clear warnings. Our desire for quick answers and immediate action can override our better judgment and ability to process information thoughtfully.

The Emotional Intelligence Connection

This is where Emotional Intelligence becomes crucial. Self-awareness, the cornerstone of EI, allows us to recognize when we're slipping into a reactive state. By developing this skill, leaders can catch themselves before they fall into the trap of talking at their teams rather than engaging in meaningful dialogue.

But self-awareness is just the starting point. How can we move beyond recognition to actually changing our behavior? This is where another key component of EI comes into play: self-regulation.

Embracing Humble Inquiry

One powerful tool for enhancing self-regulation and improving leadership communication is what Edgar Schein calls "Humble Inquiry." This approach, which I often recommend to my coaching clients, involves "The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling."

By embracing Humble Inquiry, leaders can significantly enhance their Emotional Intelligence. This approach enables us to:

1. Practice self-awareness by recognizing and setting aside our own preconceptions.

2. Develop empathy by genuinely seeking to understand others' perspectives.

3. Engage in active listening, a crucial skill for building relationships and trust.

4. Demonstrate adaptability by allowing the conversation to flow organically rather than trying to control it.

Implementing Humble Inquiry in Leadership

So, how can you start incorporating Humble Inquiry into your leadership style? Here are some strategies I've found effective:

1. Pause before responding: When faced with a challenging situation, take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you reacting from a place of emotion, or responding thoughtfully?
   

2. Ask open-ended questions: Instead of making assumptions, try curiosity. For example, rather than saying "You seem unmotivated," try asking "What challenges are you facing with this project?"
   

3. Practice active listening: Focus fully on what the other person is saying, rather than formulating your response. This demonstrates respect and builds trust.
   

4. Embrace vulnerability: Admit when you don't have all the answers. This openness can foster a culture of learning and innovation within your team.
   

5. Reflect and adapt: After each interaction, take a moment to consider what went well and what you could improve. This continuous learning process is key to developing your own Emotional Intelligence.

The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

By integrating these Emotional Intelligence practices into your leadership approach, you're not just improving communication – you're transforming your entire leadership style. You're moving from a reactive, top-down approach to a responsive, collaborative one that values diverse perspectives and fosters innovation.

Remember, leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about creating an environment where the best ideas can emerge through open, honest dialogue. By honing your Emotional Intelligence and embracing Humble Inquiry, you're setting the stage for more engaged teams, better decision-making, and ultimately, greater organizational success.

So, I challenge you: In your next team meeting or one-on-one conversation, try implementing these strategies. How does it change the dynamic? The answers you discover may just redefine your leadership journey.

Digital Empathy: A Practical Guide for Emotionally Intelligent Leaders

Over the past month, we've taken a deep dive into the vital role of emotional intelligence in effective leadership communication, with a focus on the increasingly digital landscape.

We began by examining the foundational elements of leadership communication: clarity, authenticity, and adaptability. We then explored how emotionally intelligent leaders can navigate the benefits & challenges of technology-driven communication.

Last week, we introduced the concept of digital empathy & discussed how it allows leaders to nurture authentic human connections within virtual teams. In this final installment of our series, we'll provide practical strategies for cultivating digital empathy, offering practical tips to help emotionally intelligent leaders strengthen their virtual leadership skills.

Cultivating Digital Empathy: Practical Strategies for Emotionally Intelligent Leaders

Developing digital empathy is an ongoing process – it requires intentional effort, practice, and a willingness to continuously learn and adapt. But what does it look like in our day-to-day interactions with remote teams?

One fundamental skill to begin practicing is active listening. In a virtual environment, it's all too easy to multitask or get distracted during meetings and conversations. But when we're not fully present and engaged, we miss out on critical opportunities to connect with and understand our team members.

Emotionally intelligent leaders make a point of giving their full attention in virtual interactions. They minimize distractions, turn off notifications, and focus on being present in the moment. They also use active listening techniques, like paraphrasing and reflecting back what they've heard, to show that they're truly seeking to understand their team members' perspectives.

Another key strategy is asking clarifying questions and providing meaningful feedback. When we're communicating through digital channels, there's a greater risk of misunderstandings or miscommunications. Emotionally intelligent leaders take the time to ask follow-up questions, seek clarification, and ensure that everyone is on the same page. They also provide specific, constructive feedback that helps team members feel seen, supported, and valued.

Beyond individual interactions, emotionally intelligent leaders also look for ways to leverage technology to create informal spaces for connection. They recognize that the casual conversations and "water cooler" moments that happen naturally in a physical office are vital for building empathy in virtual teams, and they find creative ways to replicate these experiences virtually.

The key is to be intentional about creating these opportunities for informal connection, and to model the kind of authentic, empathetic engagement that you want to see from your team.

Finally, cultivating digital empathy requires a commitment to continuous learning and adaptation. Emotionally intelligent leaders regularly seek out feedback from their team members, asking about their experiences, needs, and preferences when it comes to virtual communication and collaboration.

They're open to adjusting their leadership style and strategies based on this feedback, recognizing that what works for one team or individual may not work for another. They're willing to experiment with new approaches and technologies, and to iterate and refine their practices over time.

The Power of Digital Empathy: Bringing It All Together

We've seen how digital empathy differs from traditional empathy in face-to-face interactions, requiring a unique set of competencies and strategies. We've explored what it looks like to apply digital empathy in practice, from recognizing and addressing the unique challenges of remote team members to fostering inclusivity and psychological safety in virtual spaces. And we've discussed practical strategies for cultivating digital empathy in virtual teams, from practicing active listening and providing meaningful feedback to leveraging technology for informal connection and continuously seeking feedback and adapting our approaches.

Through it all, one theme has emerged: the importance of prioritizing digital empathy as a core leadership competency.

As more and more of our work and interactions move online, the ability to build authentic, empathetic connections through digital channels is no longer a nice-to-have – it's a must-have.

For emotionally intelligent leaders, this means making a commitment to developing and practicing digital empathy skills. It means being intentional about the way we communicate and connect with our teams, and being willing to put in the time and effort to build genuine, supportive relationships, even at a distance. 

It requires work! But the payoff is HUGE! 

When we lead with digital empathy, we create teams that are more engaged, more motivated, and more resilient in the face of challenges. We foster a culture of trust, belonging, and psychological safety that allows everyone to bring their full selves to work. And we build the kind of authentic human connections that are at the heart of truly effective leadership.

Navigating the challenges of remote leadership requires a high degree of emotional intelligence. It requires self-awareness, empathy, adaptability, and a willingness to continuously learn and grow. By embracing these qualities and making digital empathy a core part of our leadership practice, we can lead the way in redefining what it means to be an effective, emotionally intelligent leader in a rapidly changing world.

As leaders, our capacity to navigate this evolution with emotional intelligence is vital. By committing to personal growth, remaining agile, & bringing our authentic selves to our virtual interactions, we can model the way forward into a new era of more connected, empathetic, & impactful leadership.

Nurturing Human Connections in a Digitally Efficient World

This month we’ve explored the rapid evolution of technology and the big changes in the way leaders communicate and connect with their teams as a result. We've talked about the importance of foundational competencies like clarity, authenticity, and adaptability in effective leadership communication, and we've looked closely at the benefits and challenges that come with navigating an increasingly digital landscape.

But as the workplace continues to evolve, emotionally intelligent leaders are recognizing the need for a new critical skill: digital empathy.

Today we'll take a closer look at the rise of digital empathy and explore its role in nurturing human connection in a digitally efficient world. We'll discuss practical strategies for applying digital empathy, from recognizing and addressing the unique challenges of remote team members to fostering inclusivity and psychological safety in virtual spaces. And we'll explore how emotionally intelligent leaders can model digital empathy in virtual teams through their own communication and continuously adapt their approaches to meet the evolving needs of their teams.

Digital Empathy: The Key to Connection in a Remote World

Digital Empathy is all about HOW you connect in a remote world. So often when I work with leaders they are very clear on WHAT they need to communicate. What gets left out of the effective communication process is thinking about how the person on the other end might receive what you are communicating to them.

As remote work and virtual collaboration trends continue to soar, the concept of "digital empathy" has emerged as a critical skill for emotionally intelligent leaders. But what exactly is digital empathy, and why is it so important in today's workplace?

At its core, digital empathy is the ability to understand, share, and respond to the emotions and experiences of others through digital channels. Digital empathy is about creating a sense of connection and understanding, even when we're not physically present with our team members.

In remote work environments, digital empathy is particularly important because many of the nonverbal cues and informal social interactions that we rely on to build empathy and trust in face-to-face settings may be absent. When we're communicating primarily through email, chat, or video conferencing, it can be easy to miss the subtle emotional nuances that help us connect with others on a deeper level.

Digital empathy isn't just a matter of translating traditional empathy skills to a virtual environment. In many ways, it requires an entirely unique set of competencies and strategies.

1. Digital empathy demands a heightened level of intentionality and proactivity. In face-to-face interactions, empathy often develops naturally through nonverbal cues and informal conversations. But in a remote setting, leaders will need to actively seek out opportunities to check in with team members, ask questions, and create the time and space for genuine connection.
   

2. Digital empathy requires a greater emphasis on clarity and specificity in communication. Without the benefit of nonverbal cues, it's important to be explicit in expressing care, concern, and understanding through our words and actions.
   

3. Digital empathy calls for a willingness to adapt and experiment with new strategies for building connection in a virtual world. From creating dedicated spaces for informal conversation to leveraging technology for team-building and collaboration, emotionally intelligent leaders must be creative in finding ways to foster empathy and trust - even from a distance.

As we navigate the challenges and opportunities of remote work, let's take a closer look at what it looks like to apply digital empathy in practice.

Putting Digital Empathy into Action: A Guide for Emotionally Intelligent Leaders

So, what does it look like to apply digital empathy in the context of remote leadership? As with any skill, it's all about putting the principles into practice and making them a consistent part of your leadership approach.

One key aspect of digital empathy is recognizing and addressing the unique challenges that remote team members may face. When we're not seeing each other in person every day, it can be easy to overlook the individual circumstances and challenges that impact each team member's experience.

Emotionally intelligent leaders are intentional, staying attuned to these individual realities. They take the time to check in with team members one-on-one, asking questions and actively listening to understand each person's unique situation. They demonstrate awareness of the challenges that remote work can bring, from feelings of isolation to the blurring of work-life boundaries.

But awareness alone isn't enough – digital empathy also requires action. Emotionally intelligent leaders provide targeted support and resources to help team members navigate the challenges of remote work. This might include things like:

• Heightened Intentionality and Proactivity: In face-to-face interactions, empathy often develops naturally through nonverbal cues and informal conversations. But in a remote setting, leaders will need to actively seek out opportunities to check in with team members, ask questions, and create the time and space for genuine connection.

• Greater Emphasis on Clarity and Specificity in Communication: Without the benefit of nonverbal cues, it's important to be explicit in expressing care, concern, and understanding through our words and actions.

• Willingness to Adapt and Experiment with New Strategies: From creating dedicated spaces for informal conversation to leveraging technology for team-building and collaboration, emotionally intelligent leaders must be creative in finding ways to foster empathy and trust - even from a distance.

By consistently modeling digital empathy in virtual teams through their own leadership communication, emotionally intelligent leaders set the tone for their entire team, creating a culture of empathy, connection, and trust that transcends the challenges of physical distance, allowing everyone to feel seen, heard, and valued. This foundation of digital empathy is essential for nurturing authentic human connections in today's remote work environment, enabling teams to thrive and perform at their best, no matter where they are working from.

Navigating the Digital Landscape: How Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Adapt to Technology-Driven Communication

The evolution of technology has made a huge impact on leader/follower interactions, presenting both opportunities and challenges for those in leadership roles. From remote communication and virtual meetings to digital collaboration tools, technology has become an undeniable part of how leaders engage with their teams and stakeholders. However, as we rely on these digital channels more and more, it becomes even more important that leaders recognize the impact of technology on their communication effectiveness and make adjustments when necessary.

Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize and manage one's own emotions and the emotions of others, plays a massive role in helping leaders bridge the gap between technology and human connection. By leveraging emotional intelligence competencies, leaders can effectively navigate the terrain of technology-driven communication while continuing to build strong, authentic relationships with their teams.

This week we will explore the benefits and challenges of technology-driven communication, discuss strategies for effective leadership in a digital environment, and take a closer look at how emotionally intelligent leaders can balance the use of technology with the need for genuine human interaction.

The Benefits and Challenges of Technology-Driven Communication

The integration of technology into the workplace has brought significant changes to the way leaders communicate with their teams. On one hand, technology offers many benefits that improve communication effectiveness and efficiency. Remote communication tools such as video conferencing and instant messaging platforms allow leaders to connect with team members regardless of their physical location. This increased accessibility and flexibility can lead to improved collaboration, faster decision-making, and reduced travel costs.

Additionally, with the rise of digital collaboration tools like shared documents or project management software, teams can work together seamlessly even when team members are geographically dispersed. These tools can also provide leaders with data and insights into team performance, equipping them to make data-driven decisions and identify areas for improvement.

However, along with these benefits come several challenges that emotionally intelligent leaders must be prepared to address:

Lack of nonverbal feedback: During in-person interactions, leaders have the benefit of observing and interpreting subtle cues like body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These nonverbal signals give important context and help leaders build stronger connections with their teams. However, when communication is primarily done through digital channels, these important cues can be easily missed, making it more challenging for leaders to fully understand their team's emotions, level of engagement, and understanding of the message being conveyed.

Question: How much validation as a leader do you get from non-verbal communication? If you are not getting this need met, you are at risk for making an emotionally unintelligent behavior.

Difficulty fostering a sense of belonging: The lack of in-person interaction can make it challenging for leaders to create a strong sense of team unity and belonging. When interactions are primarily digital, team members may feel disconnected from one another and from the organization as a whole. This can lead to reduced motivation, collaboration, and overall job satisfaction.

Question: How frequent and what is the quality of your communication with your team? Intimacy of relationship is a hallmark trait of being trusted. If your interactions are infrequent and/or low quality the level of trust is at risk.

Increased risk of misunderstandings and miscommunications: Without the benefit of immediate clarification and context that in-person interactions provide, messages can be misinterpreted, leading to confusion, frustration, and even conflict.

Question: How is your use of dialogue reducing the miscommunication distance? The more you dialogue and work to understand the other person the clearer your communication will become.

Though they are not insurmountable, emotionally intelligent leaders understand that these obstacles call for a proactive and flexible approach to communication. By understanding the limitations of technology-driven communication and developing strategies to reduce them, leaders can enjoy the benefits of the technology without sacrificing the human connection that is essential for building strong, productive teams.

Strategies for Effective Communication in a Technology-Driven Environment

To successfully navigate the complex dynamics of technology-driven communication, emotionally intelligent leaders will require strategies that address the unique challenges of the digital age. By focusing on key emotional intelligence competencies, leaders can create a framework for effective communication in a technology-driven environment.

Self-Reflection and Adaptability:

Emotionally intelligent leaders understand the importance of self-reflection when communicating through digital tools. They take the time to consider how their communication style translates to each virtual channel and remain open to adapting their approach as needed. For example, a leader who relies heavily on nonverbal cues in face-to-face interactions may need to be more explicit and descriptive in their digital communications to ensure clarity. Leaders will improve their ability to communicate in a virtual environment by regularly evaluating their own communication preferences and biases and making the appropriate adjustments.

Empathy and Understanding:

In our digital world, it is crucial for leaders to consider team members' individual communication styles, preferences, and challenges. Emotionally intelligent leaders actively work to understand each team member's unique needs and adapt their communication approach accordingly. This may involve offering multiple communication channels to accommodate different preferences and ensuring that team members have the necessary tools and support to effectively participate in virtual interactions. By demonstrating empathy and genuine interest in their team members' well-being, leaders will build trust and a supportive environment that enhances communication and collaboration.

Flexibility and Problem-Solving:

Emotionally intelligent leaders recognize that a one-size-fits-all approach to communication is rarely effective. Instead, they modify their communication style to each individual virtual channel and audience, ensuring that their message is effectively communicated - regardless of the medium. This may involve adjusting the tone, level of detail, or frequency of communication, etc. When confronted with challenges or misunderstandings, emotionally intelligent leaders will rely on their problem-solving skills to find creative solutions and maintain open, productive communication.

Building Trust and Fostering Collaboration:

Maintaining strong connections with team members can be particularly challenging in a remote environment. Emotionally intelligent leaders prioritize these relationships by investing time in one-on-one interactions. They make an effort to check in with team members regularly, not only about work-related matters, but also to show genuine interest in their well-being and to provide support as needed. By consistently communicating their expectations, values, and goals, while also encouraging individual growth, leaders will create a culture of trust and accountability that supersedes digital limitations and enhances communication and collaboration.

The Future of Leadership Communication: Mastering Emotional Intelligence

As technology rapidly transforms the way we communicate and collaborate, the role of emotional intelligence in leadership has never been more critical. As we have seen throughout this blog, emotionally intelligent leaders are better equipped to navigate the challenges of technology-driven communication and create virtual work environments that foster trust, connection, and high performance.

By cultivating key emotional intelligence competencies such as self-awareness, empathy, and flexibility, leaders can effectively balance the use of technology with the need for genuine human interaction.

Emotionally intelligent leaders understand that while digital tools can be powerful forms of communication and collaboration, it is the human element – the trust, empathy, and authentic connection – that ultimately drives team and organizational success.

Communicating for Success: How Clarity, Authenticity, & Adaptability Shape Effective Leadership

In the evolving landscape of leadership, the power of effective communication is one thing that remains unchanged. As technology advances and workplace dynamics shift, leaders are left to navigate a complex web of interactions while mastering the foundational elements of leadership communication that stand the test of time. These foundational elements include clarity, authenticity, and adaptability – each playing a critical role in a leader's ability to inspire, motivate, and drive success.

Clarity: The Key to Alignment and Productivity

Clarity is the cornerstone of effective leadership communication. It is the ability to convey ideas, expectations, and feedback in a way that is easily understood and actionable. The importance of clarity in leadership communication cannot be overstated, as it directly impacts the alignment, trust, and productivity of teams.

At its core, clarity in leadership communication means expressing oneself in a manner that is concise, direct, and simple to comprehend. Leaders who recognize the importance of clarity in leadership communication are able to articulate their vision, goals, and expectations in a way that leaves no room for misinterpretation.

While there are many benefits of mastering clear communication, a few stand out for leaders: 

1. Improved understanding and alignment among team members

2. Enhanced trust and credibility through transparency

3. Increased efficiency and productivity by reducing misunderstandings

Embracing clarity in leadership communication is not just a nice-to-have skill; it is a critical competency that can make or break a leader's ability to inspire, motivate, and guide their team.

How are you adding clarity to your communication with your team?

Authenticity: Building Trust and Genuine Connections

In an age of curated social media personas and polished corporate messaging, authenticity has become a rare and valuable commodity in leadership communication. Leaders who have learned to embrace authenticity create genuine connections with their teams and stakeholders, fostering trust, loyalty, and meaningful engagement.

Authenticity in leadership communication is the practice of being genuine, sincere, and true to oneself. Authentic leaders communicate with honesty, vulnerability, and transparency, even when (especially when) faced with challenges or criticism. They are self-aware, acknowledging their strengths and weaknesses, and are committed to continuous growth and improvement. They also never lose sight of the idea that communication is a two way process and that empathy is vital to good authenticity. As a leader, ensure you are being authentic without being mean, nasty, or off-putting.

Authentic leadership communication strategies include:

1. Demonstrating vulnerability to create a safe space for others to do the same

2. Aligning words with actions to earn respect and trust

3. Prioritizing active listening, empathy, and understanding

In a world where trust is often in short supply, authentic leadership communication is a vital tool for building lasting, productive relationships with team members, stakeholders, and customers alike.

How are you showing authenticity in an empathetic way with those you lead?

Adaptability: The Mark of a High-Performing Leader

In an era marked by disruption and uncertainty, adaptability has become a defining characteristic of effective leadership. The ability to adjust one's communication style, approach, and strategies in response to new challenges and opportunities is what sets high performing leaders apart.

Adaptable leaders recognize that one-size-fits-all communication rarely works in diverse, dynamic environments. They understand that different individuals, teams, and situations require tailored approaches to communication. By being flexible and responsive, adaptable leaders can effectively engage and motivate their teams, even in the face of uncertainty or adversity.

To cultivate adaptability, leaders must:

1. Understand and embrace diverse communication styles and preferences

2. Develop proficiency in communicating across both in personal and virtual channels

3. Prioritize human connection as you think about digital communication.

4. Commit to continuous learning and improvement, seeking feedback and staying informed about the latest communication trends and best practices.

What one small thing would you commit to doing that could have a huge impact on your team?

The Ripple Effect of Effective Leadership Communication

In a world where change is constant and challenges are inevitable, the ability to communicate effectively is a leadership superpower. By mastering and consistently applying the foundational elements of leadership communication – clarity, authenticity, and adaptability – leaders can empower their teams to innovate, collaborate, and deliver exceptional results, even in the face of adversity.

Over time, the consistent application of these principles creates a ripple effect that shapes the culture and character of an organization, setting the tone for open communication, trust, and resilience, creating a foundation for sustained growth, innovation, and success. 

Reflecting on Memorial Day 2024

A Time for Pause and Perspective

Today is Memorial Day 2024, a day dedicated to remembrance. Memorials, whether personal or historical, serve as powerful symbols that anchor us to our past.

These symbols are often physical objects—a flag, a stone monument, a cross, or a star—that compel us to pause, even for a brief moment, to reflect. They interrupt our daily thoughts, urging us to remember and honor what came before.

Sometimes, a memorial is a day itself, like Memorial Day. It's a break from our routine, a chance to engage in activities that honor the past and reflect on its significance.

The Importance of Reflection

Memorials pull us out of our routines, inviting us to reflect. If we merely continue with our usual activities, the memorial loses its impact. Today, let's take a moment to slow down and think. Consider a memory, perhaps an interaction with someone, and reflect on its goodness or how it could have been better.

This is the real challenge of memorials, especially in the United States on Memorial Day: Are we willing to stop and examine ourselves—our actions as individuals and as a nation? It's easy to notice how others impact us, but it's harder to see our own influence on those around us. Yet this self-examination is the true purpose of memorials.

Critical Thinking and Empathy

We need to pause and think critically. This means challenging our own viewpoints and maintaining our ability to empathize with others. Let's strive to understand different perspectives, doing the work to see where someone else is coming from.

One of the United States' strengths is our freedom of speech. We're good at expressing our opinions, but we need to improve our listening skills. This Memorial Day, let's ask questions out of genuine curiosity about others' viewpoints instead of assuming those with opposing views are wrong. Understanding doesn't require agreement, but it does foster respect.

Memorials as Guideposts

Memorials guide our behavior, both personally and socially. They offer moments to step back and reflect on who we are and where we're headed. They help us remember the good and the bad, giving perspective to both.

This Memorial Day 2024, I hope you find the time to pause and reflect. If you encounter someone with an opposing view, be curious about their perspective instead of defensively asserting your own. Listening and curiosity can lead to deeper understanding without the need to share your viewpoint immediately.

A Call for Kindness and Understanding

Let's demonstrate the ability to understand another's perspective before rushing to conflict. This Memorial Day, let's cultivate kindness, compassion, and understanding in our interactions.

Have a safe and thoughtful Memorial Day 2024, from Livingston Consulting Group.

Why Every Leader Should Journal: Insights and Benefits

One summer, I was researching for an article and came across a thesis that used journaling as a research tool for self-discovery among youth football coaches:

A leadership discovery: enhancing Finnish youth football coaches' Effectiveness through the Transformer Research Project

In this study, journaling was used as a tool rather than the primary outcome. As I read through the article, the benefits of journaling became abundantly clear.

THE BENEFITS of Journaling for Leaders

Having worked with many coaching clients over the years, I have frequently recommended journaling as a powerful leadership development strategy. Journaling involves taking time to reflect and write down your observations about how you show up in different situations.

Given the widespread lack of self-awareness in leadership, journaling is a crucial method for documenting your thoughts and feelings about your experiences. It serves as a record of your emotions and thoughts on any given day across various circumstances.

Here are my top five reasons that every leader should journal:

1. Self-awareness: Leaders need to reflect on how they present themselves in different contexts and what triggers their emotions. Despite how well we think we know ourselves, reflection can always reveal something new.

2. Managing Stress: Writing is an excellent way to reduce stress levels. Visual journaling, or what my second-grade teacher Mrs. Carlson called “drawing,” can be even more effective. A 2010 study by Amanda Mercer found that medical students experienced reduced stress and anxiety when they kept a visual journal.

3. Gaining Clarity: When faced with complex issues, writing or drawing can help sort things out. Taking time to clear your mind and put your thoughts on paper or a tablet can clarify your decisions.

4. Prioritizing: Life can get hectic, especially in our Western world, where leaders often struggle to prioritize. Journaling helps you focus by writing down what’s important. It serves as a metaphorical stake in the ground, providing a reference point.

5. Controlling Impulses: Journaling gives you a place to reflect before acting. Before agreeing or committing to something, I turn to my journal to avoid impulsive decisions. It’s a crucial tool for deciding which projects to accept or decline.

A Personal Revelation:

A few days before Father’s Day that summer, while reviewing the aforementioned article, my kids ended up gifting me a journal for Father’s Day. But not just any journal—it was called StoryWorth.

Here’s how StoryWorth works:

• Every week, you receive an email prompt to write about a memory from your past.

• You reply to the email to journal, writing as much or as little as you want. I typically write two or three paragraphs.

• These entries are saved, and you can eventually turn your journaling into a book. After 52 weeks, you could have a cherished book of memories.

The Top Reason ALL Leaders Need to Journal:

Your leadership story IS worth reading.

Navigating Leadership Challenges: Moving Beyond Advice to Empowerment

Introduction:

In the realm of leadership, providing advice often seems like the obvious path to helping others navigate complex situations. Yet, Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, authors of "Thanks for the Feedback," shed light on the limitations of advice-giving, emphasizing the need for specificity and context. This raises the question: How can leaders effectively address challenges without merely dispensing advice? Let's explore a more empowering approach that emphasizes understanding, collaboration, and fostering a culture of trust.

Empowering Through Coaching:

Rather than offering quick-fix advice, effective leadership involves coaching individuals to discover their own solutions. Coaching isn't about dictating actions; it's about guiding individuals to unlock their inner wisdom. As Parker Palmer suggests, it's about "pulling out their inner teacher." By refraining from prescribing solutions and instead helping individuals explore their options, leaders empower them to make informed decisions aligned with their unique circumstances.

Understanding Context:

When faced with inquiries about handling leadership dilemmas, it's crucial to resist the temptation to jump to conclusions. Rather than hastily providing answers, take the time to understand the nuanced context surrounding the situation. Delve into the organizational dynamics, team relationships, and external factors shaping the challenge at hand. This deep understanding lays the groundwork for tailored guidance that resonates with the specific needs of the individual and the organization.

Organizational Considerations:

At the organizational level, effective leadership entails aligning team objectives with strategic goals. Reorganization should stem from a clear strategic rationale, driven by shifts in internal or external dynamics. Merely reshuffling teams without addressing underlying issues risks perpetuating dysfunction and escalating costs. Leaders must assess whether the benefits of reorganization outweigh the disruptions it entails, ensuring that organizational integrity remains intact.

Fostering Collaborative Dynamics:

Within teams, fostering a culture of collaboration is paramount. True collaboration isn't about everyone being involved in everything but rather about trusting each other's expertise and contributions. Leaders play a pivotal role in nurturing this culture by fostering trusting relationships and upholding team standards. Encouraging open communication, embracing vulnerability, and instilling confidence in team members create a fertile ground for collaboration to flourish.

Accountability and Conflict Resolution:

In the face of conflict or underperformance, leaders must navigate with finesse. Accountability rests not solely on the individual but on the collective responsibility of the team. Leaders should encourage a culture of peer accountability, where team members hold each other to high standards. Addressing individual shortcomings requires a delicate balance of coaching and mentorship, guided by the overarching goal of fostering growth and improvement.

Conclusion:

Navigating leadership challenges demands a departure from conventional advice-giving towards a more nuanced and empowering approach. By embracing coaching, understanding context, and fostering collaborative dynamics, leaders can navigate complexities with confidence and efficacy. Ultimately, it's not about having all the answers but about empowering others to find their own path to success.

Unveiling the Power of Curiosity in Leadership

In the dynamic landscape of leadership, the journey is never static; it's an evolving process fueled by curiosity and a hunger for growth. Reflecting on something like the ingenuity of a child constructing something with LEGO bricks, we glimpse into the essence of leadership—a continual exploration of possibilities, and a relentless quest for improvement.

Leadership, akin to a masterpiece in progress, thrives on curiosity.

Beyond casting a vision and assembling a team, true leadership is about nurturing an insatiable curiosity about oneself, one's team, and the collective objectives. It's about embracing diverse perspectives, understanding how others perceive our leadership, and reveling in the boundless realm of curiosity.

WHAT IF YOU HAVE LOST YOUR PASSION FOR THE JOB?

When the intensity wanes, what happens when monotony threatens to overshadow passion? Transitioning from one role to another doesn't guarantee perpetual excitement; monotony can infiltrate any endeavor. Yet, amidst the mundane lies the catalyst for transformation—curiosity.

Acknowledging the mundane as an opportunity for exploration, I discovered a profound truth: curiosity is the antidote to boredom. By reframing tasks as voyages of discovery, the mundane becomes meaningful, and routine becomes rejuvenating.

CURE IT WITH CURIOSITY.

Transcending personal dissatisfaction, and integrating curiosity into the fabric of leadership revitalizes connections and fosters innovation. Embracing curiosity invites a symbiotic relationship between leaders and their teams, igniting collaborative fervor and unlocking untapped potential. As curiosity permeates, visions align, passions reignite, and the journey becomes a shared odyssey of growth.

So, let curiosity be your compass in leadership. Engage in a perpetual quest for knowledge, delve into the depths of understanding your team, and unearth insights waiting to be discovered. For within the realm of curiosity lies the transformative power to invigorate leadership, reignite passion, and cultivate enduring excellence.

What would it take for you to ignite more curiosity about your team? What can you learn from them? What insights could they offer on any of your current projects that you have not yet thought about?

Rediscovering Purpose: From Frozen Waffles to Fulfillment

As we enter the year's midpoint, it's a natural time to reflect on our experiences thus far and contemplate what lies ahead. This introspection isn't confined to individuals; it resonates across organizations, regardless of their size or structure. This same exercise happens across organizations of every size and business structure.  

During this evaluation and projection, I want to share a story that encapsulates a profound lesson:

Let Them Eat Waffles! 

This seemingly whimsical phrase emerged from a conversation I had with a plant manager a few months back. He oversees the production of electronic components, vital elements that find their way into countless products, from airplanes to household appliances. Yet, he described his role as mundane, almost inconsequential.

This assertion puzzled me. "Mundane?" I echoed. "Did you say grocery store freezers?" The significance of his work dawned on me. As a lover of frozen waffles, I realized the impact his role had on my daily breakfast routine. His loss of vision and passion could potentially disrupt something as seemingly trivial as my morning meal—a thought that stirred me to action.

Self-Actualization

At the core of this narrative lies the concept of self-actualization, a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. It's about discovering one's purpose and meaning in life, and the relentless pursuit of personal growth and fulfillment. Those who embrace self-actualization find purpose beyond mere occupation; they see their endeavors as contributions to something greater than themselves.

However, many struggle to bridge the gap between what they do and who they are. This disconnection can lead to a sense of purposelessness, overshadowing the significance of their actions.

Who You Serve

It's time to shift our focus from tasks to the people we serve. Whether you're delivering pizzas or managing an entire plant, your role extends beyond its immediate duties. You're nourishing families, fostering social connections, and ensuring essential components reach those who need them.

As leaders, it's imperative to reignite our passion and vision. Our teams rely on us to provide direction and inspiration. By reaffirming the significance of their roles and how they contribute to the greater good, we empower them to rediscover their purpose and drive.

CONCLUSION

As we embark on this journey of self-reflection and goal-setting, let's remember the lessons of the frozen waffles. Let's strive for self-actualization, finding purpose in our endeavors, and recognizing the impact we have on others. Let's redefine success not by what we do, but by whom we serve.

And in doing so, let's create a ripple effect of fulfillment and inspiration that touches lives far beyond our own.

Navigating Leadership Challenges: Empowering Growth and Development

In a recent engagement, I found myself immersed in a thought-provoking conversation with a client facing a compelling leadership puzzle. Amidst a recruitment phase, the client encountered a striking dilemma with an internal candidate. While brimming with confidence, ambition, and eloquence, the candidate faltered when confronted with "critical feedback." Despite diligent attempts to coax a response, silence prevailed, leaving the client puzzled. This scenario prompted deep contemplation on effective leadership approaches to foster individual growth while maximizing potential.

He was puzzled, and I could see why.

What are the best practices for a leader to implement to help someone see their weaknesses, and at the same time see their potential areas for development? 

Exploring Potential Challenges:

1. Lack of self-awareness.  A prevalent barrier in leadership evolution, insufficient self-awareness can obstruct the assimilation of constructive feedback. It entails comprehending one's strengths, weaknesses, and their implications across varied contexts.

2. Communication barriers.  Despite earnest communication efforts, barriers such as misinterpretations or internal distractions may impede genuine engagement. When internal dialogues overshadow verbal exchanges, effective communication becomes elusive.

3. Arrogance. Often intertwined with pride or self-absorption, arrogance can lead to a dismissive stance towards feedback. In this scenario, the candidate may acknowledge feedback superficially but fail to internalize its significance.

4. Perceived omniscience. While expertise is invaluable, perceiving oneself as all-knowing can hinder growth. Leaders must tread cautiously to avoid overestimating their knowledge and embracing learning opportunities.

5. Self-Regard Deficiency. Embracing one's entirety, including imperfections, is crucial for personal growth. Distorted self-perceptions can hinder acknowledgment of areas needing improvement, stalling progress.

Cultivating Growth Opportunities:

In leadership roles, embracing feedback and seizing growth prospects are indispensable. Reflecting on introspective questions such as "What constitutes my personal development opportunity?" fosters self-awareness and progress. Candid introspection empowers leaders to identify areas for enhancement and strive for heightened effectiveness.

Give these inquiries full breadth and stretch yourself a bit. Get honest with yourself and ask, "What do I need to work on that will allow me to be a more effective leader?"

Unlocking Leadership Excellence: 7 Essential Questions Every Leader Should Reflect On

In the fast-paced world of leadership, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and forget the importance of stepping back to reflect. Yet, purposeful reflection is not just a luxury for leaders; it's a necessity. It's what separates good leaders from truly exceptional ones.

As a leadership coach, I often ask my clients a simple yet profound question: How good are you at spending time in purposeful reflection? The reason for this inquiry is clear: leaders are adept at reflecting on the work in front of them but often neglect critical reflection on the processes that drive that work forward.

Consider this scenario: a leader meticulously reviews the talent in their organization but fails to reflect on their own biases or the overall outcome of their efforts. This lack of introspection can have far-reaching consequences, not only for the leaders themselves but for the entire team.

So, what can leaders do to bridge this gap and cultivate a culture of reflection within their organizations?

It starts with asking the right questions.

Here are seven essential questions every leader should reflect on:

1. Confirmation Bias: Are you seeking out proof that confirms what you already believe, rather than challenging your assumptions?

2. Hindsight Bias: Are you relying on outdated information or past mistakes to inform your present decisions?

3. Gender Bias: Are you unconsciously discriminating against individuals based on gender stereotypes?

4. Anchoring Bias: Are you allowing past experiences to unfairly influence your perceptions of current situations?

5. Available Thought Bias: Are you falling into the trap of defending your ideas simply because they were the first to come to mind?

6. Role Modeling: Do you see yourself as a role model for your team, and are you setting a positive example for them to follow?

7. Work/Life Balance: Are you unintentionally sending mixed messages about work/life balance by your actions?

Reflecting on these questions isn't just about self-improvement; it's about fostering a more inclusive and effective leadership style. It's about recognizing our own biases and blind spots and taking proactive steps to address them.

As leaders, we owe it to ourselves and our teams to pause, reflect, and strive for excellence in everything we do. So, take some time today or this week to ponder these questions. Challenge yourself to dig deep, confront your biases, and emerge as a stronger, more self-aware leader.

Remember, leadership excellence isn't achieved overnight, but with dedication and reflection, it's well within reach!

Deeper Questions: A Lesson in Listening and Empathy

One ordinary day, my daughter Gretchen sparked a thought-provoking conversation with a simple text message to me. Her inquiry was seemingly straightforward: "If the average person had to choose whether to be bored or stressed, which would they pick?" Little did I know, her question would unravel layers of introspection and self-discovery for me.

Initially, I found myself approaching her question from a narrow perspective, juxtaposing stress with relaxation and boredom with energization. Yet, Gretchen's query challenged me to reconsider these concepts in a new light. It wasn't merely about contrasting states of being; it was about understanding the underlying motivations and preferences of individuals.

In hindsight, I realize that my response missed the mark.

Instead of embracing her curiosity and delving into the heart of her inquiry, I allowed my pride to overshadow genuine connection. My knee-jerk reaction reflected more about my insecurities than it did about empathizing with her perspective.

However, Gretchen's graciousness and patience revealed the true essence of our relationship. Rather than admonishing me for my shortcomings, she offered understanding and insight into her intentions. Her revelations from the exchange shed light on the real question behind her initial inquiry.

This experience served as a profound lesson for me TOO.

It highlighted the importance of active listening and empathy in all communication. Too often, we get caught up in our narratives, failing to truly understand the underlying motivations of those around us.

Moving forward, I am committed to honing my skills in deciphering the question behind the question. Realizing that genuine connection lies in the ability to understand and empathize with others' perspectives, I aspire now to approach every interaction with an open heart and a curious mind.

In the end, it's not just about finding the right answer; it's about fostering meaningful connections built on mutual understanding and empathy. And therein lies the true essence of communication and relationships – a journey of exploration and discovery, guided by empathy and genuine curiosity.

Lessons on Leadership From Mom: Culture Matters

I hope you had a wonderful weekend. As we dive back into the work week and our personal development journeys, I'd like to share some invaluable leadership insights gleaned from none other than my mother. Because let's face it, personal growth isn't complete without considering our wellness, and there's much to learn from the nurturing wisdom of maternal leadership. So, let's delve into the profound impact my mother's teachings had on my leadership journey.

LESSONS I learned about leadership from my mom:

Cultivating CULTURE

Growing up, my mother was the epitome of family-centeredness. Our home wasn't just a place for immediate family; it was a hub where grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins converged. My mom, a devoted "stay-at-home mom," created a familial culture steeped in safety and security, nurturing an environment where we thrived as kids.

Organizational culture experts like Dr. Boyd Johnson and Dr. Mike Linville would undoubtedly nod in agreement. After all, as my esteemed former boss, Tom Considine, often reiterated, "Culture eats strategy for lunch." Yet, it's a refrain that needs amplification within organizational settings.

Echoing Edgar Schein's insights, our human nature inherently craves social cohesion and safety. Establishing rules and regulations isn't merely about structure; it's about fostering an environment where individuals feel secure. My mother understood that safety breeds optimal performance, while threats trigger survival instincts, impeding cognitive function and receptivity to leadership.

Leadership, therefore, necessitates a nuanced approach – less about what's said and more about how it's received. My mom's blend of safety and discipline laid the groundwork for growth and well-being within our family unit.

SHOWING UP

In leadership, presence is paramount – it can't be delegated. My parents exemplified this principle, never missing significant life events, whether weddings, funerals, or milestone celebrations. They ingrained in me the importance of being there for others, no matter the circumstances.

Likewise, effective leadership demands active participation in the lives of followers. It's about prioritizing their milestones, meetings, and moments of crisis over personal agendas. By showing up, leaders foster trust and solidarity, strengthening the bond with their team.

EMBRACING Sacrifice

My upbringing in a humble, blue-collar neighborhood underscored the essence of sacrifice in leadership. Despite modest means, my mom ensured I never lacked essentials, fostering an environment of care and support that emboldened risk-taking.

Leadership isn't about privilege or entitlement; it's about selfless giving. Followers keenly observe the sacrifices leaders make – whether staying late to lend a hand or prioritizing their needs over personal leisure. In return, leaders earn commitment, loyalty, and heightened effort from their team.

Remarkably, these values seem scarce in many organizational cultures today. Perhaps therein lies the key: my mom never expected reciprocation. Genuine sacrifice, devoid of expectations, cultivates loyalty and commitment organically.

IN CONCLUSION

Reflect on these insights. Consider how they resonate with your leadership approach. Are there adjustments needed to better align with these foundational principles?

As Edgar Schein aptly puts it, organizational culture and leadership are inextricably linked. By embodying the nurturing ethos of maternal leadership – fostering culture, prioritizing presence, and embracing sacrifice – we pave the path for authentic connection, growth, and success within our teams.

Let's strive to lead with the same grace, selflessness, and wisdom exemplified by the maternal figures who've shaped our lives.

Reference: Schein, E. (2010). Organizational Culture and Leadership. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. (p. 144).

Unlocking Change: Understanding Your Team's Change Style

Slow down, take a deep breath, and think for a minute about this question:

As a leader, what is the single most important thing you are trying to change in your organization?

Do you have that ONE thing in mind? Now write it down.

In my work as an organizational consultant and executive coach, I often work with leaders who have several things they are trying to change at the same time. They are trying to make their organization more efficient and more focused, and they want to have their employees think in a new or different way.

It would be fairly easy to lead if you only had to make one change at a time, and you could do this linearly and synchronously. No one I know in leadership has this luxury though.

Change is all around you, coming at you from every side:

• Budgets change

• People change

• Expectations change

• Visions change

• Customers change

• Products change

• Regulations change

• Bosses’ minds change

Often all of these types of changes can happen at the same time. Sometimes you are in complete control of these changes, and other times you feel like you are in more of a reactionary position.

No matter the position you find yourself in, as a leader, one thing is clear, part of your calling is to be able and willing to change.

Style Preferences:

One of the things I have been thinking more about over the past several months is not necessarily the types of changes or even my level of control over them, but more so about how my team members and customers approach change in general. In our organization, we have a lot of changes going on sometimes all at once:

• We add new team members

• We launch new websites

• We take on more projects

• We add new courses to our teaching repertoire

• We start to do executive coaching in new industries and with new clients

Change is everywhere.

However, I have been trying to focus less on the “what” that is changing and more on the “how” each person on my team responds to change.

Let’s face it. Some of you are change junkies. Change gives your brain a huge dopamine rush and you get an overwhelmingly positive feeling when things are changing. Some of you like to move so fast that you end up getting several steps ahead of everyone else and you are forced to slow down or lose others completely. Others of you realize that change is imminent, but you have more of a slow-and-steady-wins-the-race approach.

Experts on change agree that while there is no one-style-fits-all approach, each of us has our own approach that we are more comfortable with when it comes to change.

Change Style Indicator:

A tool that I use to better understand the change styles of my team is the “Change Style Indicator”. This is a simple and easy-to-use assessment you can look up online that gives people a glimpse into their style preferences when they are faced with change. The assessment takes less than 10 minutes to complete, then you are scored on a change style continuum of three styles that represent distinct approaches when responding to change. The continuum ranges from a Conserver Style to an Originator Style, to a Pragmatists Style, occupying the middle range of the continuum.

I have found that working with my team in light of this assessment has helped us to manage all the changes we are facing more productively. While this tool does not give any indication of whether or not we are good at change, or even if our styles are effective for the type of changes we are facing, what it does for me as a leader is:

• Allow me to approach everyone on my team as an individual in the ways they like to approach change

• Get a better feel for the underlying emotions and anxieties associated with the change

• Better understand some of the natural conflicts that arise between team members based on the changes they are facing

• Get better at responding, helping to enhance collaboration, and even encouraging the team to innovate more

I asked a member of my team to answer a few questions about their perspective on the Change Style Indicator.

1. How easy was this assessment to take and how long did it take you to complete it?

   It only took me about 15 minutes, including the time to read the instructions. The questions are straightforward and ask you for the response that immediately comes to mind. There are no "right" or "wrong" answers, you are just asked to be candid in your responses.

2. What is one thing that you learned about yourself from the assessment that you didn’t already know?

   I have utilized several personality and communication style assessments, but I've never taken one directly related to dealing with change. I enjoyed reading the detailed results report, which indicated I am a "Pragmatist" with a "Conserver" orientation. This means that I prefer the kind of change that happens for practical reasons, and I want to make sure any change is a group effort, keeping in mind what is best for the team.

3. How can you see yourself using this assessment as you influence others on our team?

   The results report provided a useful outline of my strengths and weaknesses when dealing with change. This is helpful for my work in the future as it gives me tools to explain to other team members how I can best contribute to change within our organization. If everyone on my team utilizes the Change Style Indicator, it can help us when planning our work so that the assignments and expectations are tailored to suit the strengths and weaknesses of each team member.

4. What advice would you give to someone who wanted to be more influential as a leader in their organization?

   Self-awareness is an essential skill for any leader. When working with a team, you not only have to understand yourself but you have to also be able to adapt your style when necessary to get the best results with your group. The Change Style Indicator is a useful key to self-awareness in managing organizational change.

Simple tools like this can be quite effective in helping us as leaders to assess our teams and what the best approaches might be to maximize our change opportunities.

Takeaway:

Go back to the change that you wrote down at the beginning of this post. Now think about all the people on your team who are affected by that change. What words would you use to describe the way they approach change? I think taking some time and assessing how people respond to change can make all the difference in how effective we are as leaders in making change happen.

Embracing Critical Thinking: Beyond Misconceptions and One-Liners

In a world fraught with discord, where misinformation often fuels our debates, there's one consensus we could strive for - acknowledging Gene Roddenberry's genius. As the mastermind behind Star Trek, Roddenberry not only crafted captivating characters but also imparted profound wisdom through their dialogue.

Amidst the quips and adventures of Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott, and Captain Kirk, it's Mr. Spock's rationality that resonates deeply in today's tumultuous times. His assertion, "In critical moments, men sometimes see exactly what they wish to see," serves as a poignant reminder of our innate biases.

We're prone to cherry-picking facts to fit our narratives, as evidenced by popular misconceptions like the efficacy of Vitamin C in boosting immunity or the visibility of the Great Wall of China from space. However, as Dr. Diane Halpern aptly notes, in this era inundated with information, critical thinking has never been more imperative.

Yet, critical thinking demands more than a cursory Google search. It necessitates introspection and discernment. Take, for instance, the misconception surrounding Vitamin C. While anecdotes may tout its benefits, a deeper inquiry reveals the nuanced truth: our immune systems function optimally without artificial "boosts."

So, before we cling to long-held beliefs or perpetuate anecdotal evidence, let's cultivate humility and curiosity. In a world inundated with noise, it's our commitment to critical thinking that will illuminate the path forward. Let's embrace the humility to say:

“I don’t know, but I am open to learning more.”